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My parents put some money in a Trust this year and have some 401k monies they live off. I do not believe they will last the “5 year wait” before needing SNF. I have all the different POAs and handle their finances. I am speaking with their financial advisor next week about this. My siblings want to start getting their inheritance before any snf’s get ahold of it. I personally would rather have inheritance also, but I want to do what is right for my parents. They trust me on this. If we drain all their money and they maintain at this level, then they are hurt. If we wait to long then their money is taken.


What do you do?

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Spend down doesn't mean that she gives the money away to her family. It means it is spent on her, she should be self pay until her money runs out then you apply for Medicaid.

You want us taxpayers to pay for your mothers care? NO, the money is to be used for her. If there is nothing left then you and siblings get nothing.

You want her to sit in a Medicaid facility with 2 to 3 a room, TV's blaring, screaming and more when she has money to be in a decent facility and well cared for.

This is sad.
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Anne51 Dec 31, 2023
Dear Medolly,
do you have to be so hateful and angry. Maybe I am new to this. Please keep your rude opinions to yourself.
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I don’t want to shame anyone but I am so sad to read this post. I am also POA for all for my 95 year old dad. I want him to get the best care he can and it’s his money! He worked hard for it, owning his own business for 54 years. I am really not counting on an inheritance, and am okay with that. He deserves to get what he needs and be comfortable. He is unable to stay in his home unfortunately, but he has a private room in a nice facility. I like to think that my kids will respect me enough to do the same. Please rethink this.
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AlvaDeer Dec 31, 2023
Well, you are very kind, Nelson, is all I can say.
Because I do think it is an utter shame when someone would consider taking their parents money while they are still alive, impoverishing them and putting them at the mercy of what the taxpayer can give for their last years in care at a substandard facility. To me that's either an utter shame or it's not knowing how to be a POA to an extent that is shocking.
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What in the WORLD?
Your parents investments is for THEIR OWN CARE.
WHEN you draw it down is for WHEN THEY NEED IT.

Your siblings cannot get their money unless you do some really questionable "semi-legal machinations that are in my opinion morally reprehensible.
As POA, considering doing this to "enrich" your family is entirely illegal and a breach of your Fiduciary duty to your parents. To say nothing of your moral duty.

I would be ashamed of such behavior in my siblings. As my brother's POA and Trustee I would have read them one heck of a riot act.

They would impoverish their parents to the extent they needed LOOKBACK (translate you are considering Medicaid for them, and Medicaid facilities instead of a good ALF or MC) rather than use the funds they saved for their care ON their care? There has to be a special place in Hades for such behavior; it's enough to make me wish I believed in such a place. I find that morally despicable behavior.

I hope you don't have some horrid attorney who wants only to get you all a bang for your buck, instead of protecting your poor parents. But given our times I cannot hold out a lot of hope on that one.

I honestly wonder at your asking us this question, when your Fiduciary duty and Moral duty imho is to protect your parents from graft and corruption.
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As POA, I spent "my inheritance" that my parents earned on THEIR care in top notch Assisted Living and Memory Care Assisted Living facilities until they passed, in order to AVOID a 3rd rate Medicaid SNF.

What's "right" for your parents is that their money be spent on private pay care for them. They can live to 102 like my uncle did. I hope they do.
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strugglinson Dec 31, 2023
Very good point from Lealonnie1
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What do you mean their money is 'taken'?

Their money is supposed to pay for their care, wherever that might occur, until it runs out.
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Please speak to the Elder Law attorney who prepared their documents. Make sure s/he understands Medicaid regulations for their state.

You seem not to understand your duties as POA. Please get clarification--NOT from a "financial advisor".
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You want your inheritance NOW against the possibility that your folks won't need their money for care?

Wow.

And inheritance is not a given--it's a 'possibility'. And it's tacky, to say the least, to take it when your parents are still alive and needing care. This will come back to bite you, hard, if the time comes and they needed that money.

Not to say people don't do that all the time--doesn't make it right.

We stand to inherit a pretty sizeable amount of money when/if my MIL ever dies. HOWEVER...every cent she has is currently being earmarked and used for HER CARE. All 3 of the kids would have MUCH PREFERRED that MIL's money had been used for her personal care in a lovely SNF.

So maybe, if she dies someday, they'll all inherit a sizeable amt of money--none of the needs it, all 3 WISH she would move herself to FT care, as opposed to the nightmare we have been living.

The words that jump out at me are "their money". That's what it is: THEIRS. And inheritance is not guaranteed.

And people will surprise you and live far longer than anybody could imagine. The costs of EOL care is significantly more than a simple ALF with them living fairly independently. You need to take stock of that.
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No one gets inheritance until after both your parents are dead.
The money that they have put away for their "old age, their golden years" should be used to provide the quality care that they deserve.
I personally have a very dim view on people "hiding" assets to allow taxpayers pay for care that could be paid for. And I am sure that the care that they could pay for is of higher quality than what they would get if they were on Medicaid. (and most places that accept Medicaid want at least 2 years of "private pay" before subsidized payments kick in)
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I'm not going to berate you but from what I get is that poa is so that you make decisions within the best interest of the person/s you have poa of this means not withdrawing a certain amount to put away with the intentions of not actually using on said person/s who you have poa over also if you do go down the line of needing to place the people you have poa over into more intermedate care and do not have the finances for said care the place you are trying to put them in might do a finance check on the person/s you have poa over and these finance checks can date back years which means you would be landing only yourself into trouble if they found out you have taken finances which where intended for yourself without reason so my take on this is just because the money is there and that you have poa does not give you the right to withdraw funds for yourself or family that you don't have poa over you should not be doing that and if your family has suggested to you to do so you need to really find out what poa means there are certain laws you need to consider and abide by I hope this helps please google poa and the laws of what you need to do when being a poa
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Everything you do as POA needs to have meticulous records for their care only. Failure to do this properly will affect Medicaid assistance acceptance. About the trust, when in doubt consult a different elder attorney. Also ensure that you pre spend funeral arrangements. Legal and funeral are acceptable expenses. You already have a gut feeling that they might outlive their money so those early expenses may spend down earlier but it will be well spent to relieve your future anxiety. Ask the financial advisor if he has a template to follow. Massachusetts has a downloadable conservator form that is simple to follow and all entries will balance.
From this point, if you have questions from greedy family, it is best to not share information if you can do this. You can remind them if they continue with badgering you, you will need legal help to respond to them which will further affect their inheritance if anything is left.
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