My mom lost 10lbs since last month, she is at 75lbs. Suffering from painful rheumatoid. She is in morphine off and on, only when she wants it. Lost hearing in one ear and 75% in the other. She doesn't want solid foods and has shortness of breath. I just want to be ready and know what to do.
There is a great pamphlet called "Crossing the Creek" you can read it on line. There are many other pamphlets that will tell you what to expect. When Death is Near is another.
But Hospice will help you with all the things that you will have to do, they will make the phone calls that need to be made. they will guide you and support you.
Refusing solid food and only accepting clear fluids is often a sign that she is ready to go.
One thing to be aware of though is that many people have a "last hurrah". It's an odd surge of energy near the end of life. She may sit up in bed and chat quite lucidly or want to get up out of bed when she hasn't been up for days. It can be heart breaking if you think your loved one is suddenly on the mend and then they end up passing away the very next day.
Also don't be surprised if she tells you she has seen or talked with loved ones who have previously passed. This is not uncommon. Don't tell her she's wrong or confused. Many people have said that spirits of loved ones are present near the end of life and are waiting on the other side to help us "cross over".
Tell her you love her and that everything's going to be alright. She can hear you even when she seems "out of it".
Don't feel bad if you're not in the room when she does pass. That's VERY common. It's as if they wait till you've stepped away or gone to take a break, and then they can let go. ❤
When you say " I want to be ready and know what to do", what do you mean?
Have the hospice folks discussed how to keep mom comfortable, how to keep her mouth moist? Have they given you instructions on how to use the comfort meds? And assured you that you can call them any time? Even in the middle of the night? (((((Hugs))))))).
http://www.virtualhospice.ca/en_US/Main+Site+Navigation/Home/Topics/Topics/Final+Days/When+Death+is+Near.aspx
https://www.crossroadshospice.com/hospice-caregiver-support/end-of-life-signs/breathing-patterns/
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