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My spouse has gotten progressively worse since Covid isolation. He has Big Man, who he thinks he works with in construction and insists that we need to visit him and talk to him. Every day he gets extremely upset when I won't take him. I've tried putting him off, etc. Any suggestions welcome

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Tell him Big Man is coming over after work.

My mom thinks she's married to Dan, her actual first boyfriend who she hasn't seen since 1946 and has in reality been dead for 11 years. (I Googled him.) Dan is a pilot who flies around the world every day and is also the private pilot for the Kennedy family. He also works on telephone poles. Go figure.

She frequently gets upset that Dan's such a workaholic, and he doesn't come home enough. I tell her Dan came home after she went to bed last night and had to leave before she woke up, but he'll be home tonight at the usual time. That usually does the trick.

Just give your dad any answer about Big Man that will satisfy what he's looking for, rather than trying to say something that makes sense in the real world. My mom's usually satisfied when I tell her I talked to Dan and he told me to tell her [fill in the blank).

Try that with your dad -- you talked to Big Man, and he said to pass on whatever message you want.
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Tell him Big Man is away on business, on vacation, off sick.....
Do you have any idea what he thinks he needs to talk to him about? Perhaps you can put him to work writing a letter about it or use clues from that to help with your efforts at deflection.
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I agree with others, just say what will make him happy. Maybe take a drive and come back home from visiting Big Man. With my mom it was a little girl...and she was worried about where she went. We would say we called her mom and she went home for dinner.
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Big man went to help after hurricane laura. He was so nice and told me to tell you. What a nice guy. Then change the subject and repeat the lie when he circles back.

lie honey, it’s the only for him to get peace
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