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Nannaj -I find that I can get lost in a book, or audiobook, and get myself away from my current reality. Cleaning or organizing or crocheting also relaxes my mind.

What about you? What do you do to escape mentally? You mention your children and grandchildren. Can you keep in touch via skype or face time?
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NannaJ Mar 2020
I love to knit and read and I never get bored. And I can speak to my family every day. It's more the fact of having to be in my mum's company so much and not being able to physically escape unless I go to my room or in the garden. My anxiety levels have already gone up and it's so hard to stay cheerful.
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How about joining in a rosary by phone? Many can be found on Catholic websites.
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Do you have a paid private caregiver for her? Does Mom walk or is immobile? You have to be able to get away from her even for a walk. My mother with dementia is 92 ...93 on Wednesday...also look into SNF & do research so that when this lockdown is lifted, you can physically tour them. I know how you feel..
hugs 🤗
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NannaJ Mar 2020
No caregivers, just me. It's been just me since my sister died which is when she came to me. It's not the caregiving that's the issue really, it's the effect she has on me mentally which is the problem. We're very different and I have to have so much patience which is getting more difficult as time goes on.
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If your mother suffers from allergies, and allergy season is starting, ask her doctor about giving her diphenhydramine. It makes most people sleepy. While she takes a nap, go outside and stand in some sunshine or take a walk around the block.

Please do not lose hope. Please let yourself take care of you. You matter.
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NannaJ Mar 2020
She takes a fair bit of medication and does nap a lot during the day. We are not supposed to be going out but I am walking to the pharmacy to get her medication and to the shop to get essentials. Doesn't take long but it gets me out whilst it's still allowed. Possible lockdown on the cards though which will mean no going out at all.
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If you are able to access any exercise program from a TV that could help. I had a bad migraine last night but a little exercise this morning helped.
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I'm trying to get outside more and do things like gardening - which for someone in an apartment would not be an option of course. I go to bedroom to read and watch movies on the computer - but still get interrupted every half hour or so. You can still go to a park I would guess. Getting out in nature does help. Hospice counselor mentioned Skype also. At this point those virtual reality headsets wouldn't be a bad idea - if I had one!
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I am so very sorry you are struggling with this. I think countrymouse has excellent ideas.

I agree with Arwen. This will pass. It’s very difficult at this time. I wish that we could help you more than just offering online support.

Please stay in touch and continue to reach out even if only to speak to others about your concerns.

Take care 💗.
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@ NannaJ

I know what you mean, exactly. This is a huge challenge for many us.
But this will be temporary. It won't last forever. It is a limited period of time.
After this nightmare will finish you can change all the rules and reinvent your life again.
I offer what the emergency psychologist told me as a tool of survival for this:
divide work and rest. Have a place, a room, the garden, the attic, whatever you have at your disposal to claim as your own, private, place and follow a schedule. Fom x hour to y hour you will "work" caring for your mom, the rest of the time you will go "back home" in your safe place.
Set Skype for calls with your children and grandchildren and friends.
Call your friends everyday when you are in your safe place.

I will be thinking of you sending you thoughts of resistance.
Please keep in touch here, we will be in touch with you, every day.
This too shall pass.
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NannaJ Mar 2020
Thank you. I can go to my room or my garden. I do need my own space even if it feels very lonely. I need to calm my anxiety somehow and increase my tolerance levels. I just feel like I would like somebody to care for me for a change.
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Where are you, NannaJ?

Are you a member of CarersUK or any online group like that? Are you in touch with your local authority's Adult Social Care team? If not, do those things - support is being set up, there will be lifelines available for people in your situation, so make your presence known!

You are far from alone - a client's wife said to me last week "we're all going to go mental!" Well, yes, the idea of being locked up alone with a demented loved one for two or three months is just not funny. We WILL find ways through, hold on.
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