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How are they managing their medications?
Does their living environment pose any safety concerns?
Fall risks, spoiled food, or other threats to wellbeing
Are they experiencing any memory loss?
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I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
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V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
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Mostly Independent
Your loved one may not require home care or assisted living services at this time. However, continue to monitor their condition for changes and consider occasional in-home care services for help as needed.
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He has no other symptoms since the original test. Doc won't do MRI or blood test to validate. We can not move to independent living due to MoCA.Condition seems old age onlyWhat have others experienced?
Thirty months is a long time ago in terms of memory issues that husband may have! My parents and my husband have all had dementia. Thirty months before they showed definitive signs of dementia, they were fine. Two and a half years later (30 months), they clearly had dementia.
So here are a few questions about your daily routine with your husband, and the only reason I'm asking is that as a dementia patient's wife, I was able to prop him up and cover for him for a LOOOOONNNGG time. Thus his functioning could have been said to have been perfect if the only contact with him was as the yard man, the neighbors he chatted with, certain relatives, the dentist, etc. Of course his doctors knew about his dementia, but that was their job.
Can your husband perform tasks from start to finish, such as brushing his teeth? Or does he forget to rinse off the toothbrush and leave it on the counter? As his spouse it was easy for me to do it for my husband, but he wasn't completing the task as he normally had. Can he perform household chores without your help? DH would start to vacuum and walk off to do something else, leaving the vacuum running. Does he write checks properly? Pay any bills, or have you taken that over? Heat a meal for himself in the microwave? Go to the drugstore, get in the drive-up lane, and get his own meds? Use his phone? Use the TV remote? These abilities gradually disappeared with my husband, and no one knew but me.
If you go to independent living and six months later, your H is required to move into memory care, that's a huge bump in the road for him. Dementia patients in general don't respond well to changes in home or routine.
You might try to get the independent living facility to do their own assessment of your husband in your home. If you're a prospective tenant, they should want to do that anyway, even if there are only signs of "old age forgetfulness," which often morphs into dementia eventually, like within 30 months. But at least you'd have an independent opinion.
And as already posted, have his hearing checked. You both should be doing that annually.
How's hubby's hearing? A 2023 clinical article* states "Hearing impairment impacts performance on cognitive screening tests, resulting in over-estimation of cognitive impairment." The researchers developed a MoCA that uses written instead of spoken directions found it did make a difference for some patients.
When my mom took the MoCA on a Zoom appointment recently, I observed that she wasn't clearly hearing every instruction; although I wasn't supposed to say anything, I had to repeat some. And even I couldn't clearly hear one of the five words given to recall.
I'm not saying the whole test was wrong, but I don't want an assessment that makes things worse than they actually are because someone was talking too fast /low or can't properly enunciate. I'll certainly bring this up when she sees a neurologist (again on Zoom - there IS a downside to virtual visits...).
Get a second opinion. Get imaging. I wish you both clarity and peace to work with this challenging chapter of your lives. --------
* Development and validation of the Montreal cognitive assessment for people with hearing impairment (MoCA-H). Dawes P, Yeung W, Holland F, et al. Journal of the American Geriatrics Society. February 2023. https://doi.org/10.1111/jgs.18241
Independent living means just that. One of you needs help in some way and independent living does not offer that help. Dementia progresses to the point a person can't perform simple daily tasks. IMO, if husband was diagnoised with Dementia its time for Assisted Living and you can join him there. You will get the help you need to care for him. Please, don't think you can do this on your own. Women younger than you have found its not easy caring for someone with Dementia and have had to place husbands.
My BIL is having this problem with an Aunt and Uncle he is POA for. They live in a Senior Community in independent living housing. She is 97, he 95. He has declined since we saw them 18 months ago. She seems to be having a little problem with cognitivity. Time for Assisted Living but he won't go.
I expected change however he performs the 6 daily living tasks just fine. I don't care for the dementia label when I believe it's simply old age memory issues.
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
So here are a few questions about your daily routine with your husband, and the only reason I'm asking is that as a dementia patient's wife, I was able to prop him up and cover for him for a LOOOOONNNGG time. Thus his functioning could have been said to have been perfect if the only contact with him was as the yard man, the neighbors he chatted with, certain relatives, the dentist, etc. Of course his doctors knew about his dementia, but that was their job.
Can your husband perform tasks from start to finish, such as brushing his teeth? Or does he forget to rinse off the toothbrush and leave it on the counter? As his spouse it was easy for me to do it for my husband, but he wasn't completing the task as he normally had. Can he perform household chores without your help? DH would start to vacuum and walk off to do something else, leaving the vacuum running. Does he write checks properly? Pay any bills, or have you taken that over? Heat a meal for himself in the microwave? Go to the drugstore, get in the drive-up lane, and get his own meds? Use his phone? Use the TV remote? These abilities gradually disappeared with my husband, and no one knew but me.
If you go to independent living and six months later, your H is required to move into memory care, that's a huge bump in the road for him. Dementia patients in general don't respond well to changes in home or routine.
You might try to get the independent living facility to do their own assessment of your husband in your home. If you're a prospective tenant, they should want to do that anyway, even if there are only signs of "old age forgetfulness," which often morphs into dementia eventually, like within 30 months. But at least you'd have an independent opinion.
And as already posted, have his hearing checked. You both should be doing that annually.
When my mom took the MoCA on a Zoom appointment recently, I observed that she wasn't clearly hearing every instruction; although I wasn't supposed to say anything, I had to repeat some. And even I couldn't clearly hear one of the five words given to recall.
I'm not saying the whole test was wrong, but I don't want an assessment that makes things worse than they actually are because someone was talking too fast /low or can't properly enunciate. I'll certainly bring this up when she sees a neurologist (again on Zoom - there IS a downside to virtual visits...).
Get a second opinion. Get imaging.
I wish you both clarity and peace to work with this challenging chapter of your lives.
--------
* Development and validation of the Montreal cognitive assessment for people with hearing impairment (MoCA-H). Dawes P, Yeung W, Holland F, et al. Journal of the American Geriatrics Society. February 2023. https://doi.org/10.1111/jgs.18241
My BIL is having this problem with an Aunt and Uncle he is POA for. They live in a Senior Community in independent living housing. She is 97, he 95. He has declined since we saw them 18 months ago. She seems to be having a little problem with cognitivity. Time for Assisted Living but he won't go.