Are you sure you want to exit? Your progress will be lost.
Who are you caring for?
Which best describes their mobility?
How well are they maintaining their hygiene?
How are they managing their medications?
Does their living environment pose any safety concerns?
Fall risks, spoiled food, or other threats to wellbeing
Are they experiencing any memory loss?
Which best describes your loved one's social life?
Acknowledgment of Disclosures and Authorization
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment. You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
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I acknowledge and authorize
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I consent to the collection of my consumer health data.*
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I consent to the sharing of my consumer health data with qualified home care agencies.*
*If I am consenting on behalf of someone else, I have the proper authorization to do so. By clicking Get My Results, you agree to our Privacy Policy. You also consent to receive calls and texts, which may be autodialed, from us and our customer communities. Your consent is not a condition to using our service. Please visit our Terms of Use. for information about our privacy practices.
Mostly Independent
Your loved one may not require home care or assisted living services at this time. However, continue to monitor their condition for changes and consider occasional in-home care services for help as needed.
Remember, this assessment is not a substitute for professional advice.
Share a few details and we will match you to trusted home care in your area:
One of them has to go. Even if you bring in round-the-clock homecare help, one of them has to go. Put the mother with late stage dementia in a nursing home. Now. It does not make you a failure as a caregiver and is no reflection on your skills to be one. Having been an advanced practice nurse yourself, you don't need anyone to tell you that in situations like you're in, the caregiver often dies before the care recipient. If that happens (God forbid) what happens to them? Your husband is more important than your MIL. Put her in a nursing home.
You say in your profile that you have had no help to date. Well, that has to change soon. Today if possible. You must start bringing in some outside help, so you can get out of the house and do some fun things with friends and family. Doesn't have to be anything big, but it must be something. Going to church, lunch or supper with friends, going for a walk around the neighborhood, or just going shopping. Just giving yourself time away from the situation at home, and being around "normal" people, will help rejuvenate your soul, and help you to carry on with your caregiving journey. You must make yourself a priority too, not just your husband and MIL. I believe when you start doing that you will see a huge difference in yourself. Best wishes.
You need to find and make time for yourself. Find a caregiver so that you can get out for a few hours at least once a week. Meet a friend for lunch. Work in the yard. Do some things that you enjoy. You NEED to make time for just YOU.
Probably by not doing this alone much longer. I'm assuming MIL is farther along on her dementia journey, so I'd look into memory care placement for her and be prepared to have a place for your husband when he gets bad enough.
Do you have children who can help, or any paid assistance? You really need to be able to get out and interact with people who have functioning minds. If that's not possible, consider taking an online course to keep your own mind stimulated. Many libraries carry "The Great Courses" which have classes on everything from how to play the piano, to cooking, to physics and astronomy courses that'll make your head hurt. I really enjoy them myself, and you can do them at your own pace.
The poster is an advanced practice RN. She knows exactly what she's dealing with in her situation and what help may be available to her. She doesn't need a few hours a week off to go to church or lunch with friends. She needs someone else to take the burden of being her MIL's caregiver. The husband comes first not the MIL. If no family members are available to move the MIL into their homes, then she should find nursing home placement for her.
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
One of them has to go. Even if you bring in round-the-clock homecare help, one of them has to go.
Put the mother with late stage dementia in a nursing home. Now.
It does not make you a failure as a caregiver and is no reflection on your skills to be one.
Having been an advanced practice nurse yourself, you don't need anyone to tell you that in situations like you're in, the caregiver often dies before the care recipient. If that happens (God forbid) what happens to them?
Your husband is more important than your MIL. Put her in a nursing home.
Do you have children who can help, or any paid assistance? You really need to be able to get out and interact with people who have functioning minds. If that's not possible, consider taking an online course to keep your own mind stimulated. Many libraries carry "The Great Courses" which have classes on everything from how to play the piano, to cooking, to physics and astronomy courses that'll make your head hurt. I really enjoy them myself, and you can do them at your own pace.
The poster is an advanced practice RN. She knows exactly what she's dealing with in her situation and what help may be available to her.
She doesn't need a few hours a week off to go to church or lunch with friends. She needs someone else to take the burden of being her MIL's caregiver. The husband comes first not the MIL.
If no family members are available to move the MIL into their homes, then she should find nursing home placement for her.