He has taken a fall and has a compound fracture in his back he also has degenerative disc in his back he has also have it he has seizures depression and other health issues if you have a stroke before and I was wondering how I can become his helmet home health care giver and be paid for it
1. Your own medical insurance & expenses
2. Will you have access to HIS accounts to pay for his expenses (if the answer to this is YES - you will 100% want to involve an elder care attorney to ensure that both of you are safely and legally covered AND that you know what you are required to document and to whom you need to account for any expenditures on a regular basis (if anyone) to cover yourself.
3. Caregiving is a 24/7 job. And if he literally requires round the clock care - and you need a day off - what is your backup plan? And how much notice do you need in order to take a day off? What if you are sick? What if you want to take vacation?
4. Your own future retirement
5. Does he own his home? Or rent? There are issues with both. If he owns and has to move to a Skilled Nursing Facility for any reason - what happens to you - how long do you have to vacate the house? If he rents - are you allowed to live there per the lease?
6. Why is he your ex? Has anything changed that would allow the two of you to get along well enough for you to be his caregiver? As people are in pain, as they age, and especially if they become immobile as the result of everything you described above and have depression on top of it - is it at all possible that he may be incredibly angry and take those anger issues out on the nearest person? Are you prepared for that? And prepared to be with him 24/7?
7. 24/7 caregiving includes a lot of things - including some that I can't tell if you are glossing over that aren't just bringing him food and medications. If you are truly his only caregiver and he is immobile -you will be doing things like bathing him, assisting with bathroom activities and if he has medical supplies that need changing that will be on you as well unless he has some kind of medical assistant or nurse that comes to help.
8. Once you start, this isn't something you can just walk away from easily, you would at least have a moral obligation if not a legal one if you sign a contract to at least have a duty of care to be onsite until another caregiver could be sourced (unless he was abusive in which case I would assume the response would be to call the police and APS). - I am not a lawyer so I don't know this for sure - I'm making an assumption - but I'm just saying that if you decide you just don't like it you can't just throw your hands up and say it's not working and walk away, you'd have some obligation to actually do at least something.
9. Contract -it is important that you guys agree to something on paper - not just verbally - you can't just talk about what you agree to do - you really need to get it down on paper and I suggest get it looked over by an elder attorney at least or a contract attorney and get it notarized. This isn't between friends, it's a contract between client and caregiver. The less personal you make it the better.
10. I keep coming back to the fact that you divorced for a reason and that this is probably inherently a bad idea. But only you know why you divorced, whether it was amicable and whether you can be together 24/7. I'm figuring that for some reason you couldn't before or you wouldn't be divorced but again that's an assumption.
Best of luck to you!
https://www.va.gov/family-member-benefits/comprehensive-assistance-for-family-caregivers/
There is a reason this gentleman is your ex. That doesn't mean you can't be a companion, can't help you, but this is one low paying 24/7 job that I am imagining could well break you. Please do consider it very carefully and with the full understanding that if you can do this you will reassess whether you can continue on an every three month basis.
I am wishing you good luck.