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The Alzheimer's Association is a wonderful resource for finding help and support even for situations that do not involve Alzheimer's. There may be a local branch in your area that has researched and rated Home Health Agencies and offers support and "how to" groups for caregivers. They are much more helpful than the Area Agencies on Aging.
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PA Lynn, On 12/24 you said, " She needs someone round the clock, some days more than others. And **he** will be starting with chemo pills in Jan, so now is the time we need to act."

Is your mother or your father starting chemo pills in Jan? If it's mom, I'd like to say something. We treated my mthr's colon cancer with surgery and she refused the chemo. She was about stage 5c Alzheimer's at the time. Had we realized what a long, dreadful journey this dementia would be for her, we could have allowed her to slip away peacefully in her sleep. Her worse pain from her tumors was behind her and her low hemoglobin meant that she was just days from slipping away. We pumped her back up with transfusions and surgery, and she's been in memory care another 7.5 years so far. It was just a year before she did not know who we were at all.

The book, "Being Mortal" by Atul Gwande looks at the end of life and the issues and consequences surrounding our interventions. He's a research doc at a big Boston hospital and my DIL almost took a job helping him (but decided to stay with the baby instead!). I am greatly thankful for his insight and wish I'd known all this before we started on this journey.

I am thankful that mthr refused chemo as that meant she did not have those side effects. The 5 year survival rate for her mix was about 30%. She may have survived, but she was not there anymore. I would no longer subject a moderate dementia patient to cancer treatment to experience a longer life of confusion, fear, and wasting away.
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Thanks to all who took the time to respond and share their experiences. It has been very helpful. ❤️
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Hospice care depends on the particular company. They aren’t all the same. Do research and select the appropriate one. Hospice can be wonderful. It’s end of life palliative care.
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