Hi,
I'm new here and feeling very overwhelmed. I am 59 years old and have a 74 year old disabled spouse with numerous health problems that I care for, and have recently realized that my elderly father (who will be 84 this year) is starting to exhibit early signs of dementia. He lives about 3 hours away from us... he is widowed and lives on his own, and has always been very independent but no longer drives.
I am an only "child," have no one to help me navigate my husband's illness, much less what is going on with my dad, now. I will be traveling to go to a doctor's appointment on Monday with my dad to talk about our concerns (he recognizes the signs himself and is worried) and a caregiver will stay with my husband, but I feel like I'm drowning and don't know what to ask, how to even think about care for dad, what to do about a POA (which does not currently exist), etc. I don't even know how to determine if he is eligible for any kind of caregiving or a long-term care facility with the type of insurance that he has (Medicare Advantage HMO) if/when it becomes necessary.
I'm juggling these things with a full-time, demanding job that at least I'm able to do remotely from home (made that arrangement with my employer so that I could care for my husband when Covid first started, and I continue to do so).
With no family that can help and no friends to speak of that I can rely on for something like this, I feel like I need some sort of advocate that can help me wade through some of this before I get totally in over my head, someone who can almost literally take me by the hand and explain things very clearly to me, step by step, on what I need to do to plan for what may be coming.
Does such a thing exist? Or is my best bet just to hire an elder care attorney? What does something like that cost?
Thanks so much for listening,
Sandra
In the meantime, start having meals together as much as possible.
You, your husband, and father. Dinner 3 times a week. Order out.