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Here's the short version. My elderly relative was recently in the hospital with an infection. They were not feeding or providing any nutrition in any form. On day 5 with no food, I pointed out to the nurse that the patient had not eaten in 5 days. She said she would ask the doctor about ordering food. I came back the next day to check on it. The doctor had not been asked about food. I pointed out, sternly, to a different nurse that he had not eaten in 6 days. Suppertime came and went, and the patient was not brought any food. I threw a fit, up and down the hall, loudly where the whole floor could hear me. I did not back down or calm down. I was a complete a**hole. 5 minutes later they brought a tray of food.


Is this normal? My friend says her mom was denied food for 14 days, until a fit was thrown. A doctor asked me about stopping treatment for my relative and giving up, before he had even had a meal to see if it helped! IS THIS NORMAL IN AMERICA? Guess what, my elderly relative got better after the hospital staff saw that someone was going to show up and throw a fit.


I am forever changed by what I've seen. I can never accept that it's OK to starve a sick person almost to death, and then for the medical staff to blame the death on normal aging. Even if the answer I get here is that it's normal and OK to withhold food from helpless people, I will never accept that it's moral.

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There are a 100 reasons why food is withheld while a patient is hospitalized. And another 100 reasons why a nurse may be misinformed at any given time due to having NO prior history with the patient, constant shift changes, not reading charts, etc etc.

My husband was NPO for many days while hospitalized awaiting an NG tube to be inserted. Had I run in there screaming bloody murder and demanding he be brought a tray, I would hope a hospital security guard would have seen me OUT the front doors!

That's not to say mistakes never happen in hospitals, or that we all don't need an advocate while we're there, because we DO. But I'd not want to be a patient in any hospital where I was brought a tray of crappy hospital food only because my loved one had a temper tantrum in the hallway.

Something is very wrong with that story.

And if not, then hire a malpractice attorney, stat.
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I was in the hospital with pancreatitis last December and didn't eat for nine days. The first two were my own choice before I ended up in the hospital. I felt horrible and had a cup of chicken broth each of those two days. The second one sent me to the ER (for the third time in two weeks).

Do not EVER feed someone in the hospital with outside food. Bring it up to the doctors, but I guarantee you no one forgot to feed him, nor did they intentionally starve him. I was on an IV of Lactated Ringers the entire week I was in the hospital, and I never once felt hungry in spite of not eating anything.

Also, if there's a chance your loved one is to have surgery, he can't eat for at least 12 hours or more before the operation. Sometimes surgery schedules change (they did in my case), so I was cut off from drinking water for an operation that ended up not happening on the scheduled day.

The IV keeps them from becoming dehydrated and keeps the electrolytes up, but no one will starve to death even in five days of not eating. I was more than a little disappointed that it also didn't even lead to any meaningful weight loss. I could have happily lost five pounds, but I lost about a half pound in total.
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Are you stating that you are absolutely positive there was no IV involved with this relative in the hospital?

If the hospital was denying food for the number of days involved they would most likely start back with a liquid diet not a regular meal. I have been hospitized several times and not given food for legitimate reasons. Once nutrition outside of an IV was introduced it was in a liquid form and additions added gradually.
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I pity anyone who doesn't have a family member or friend to advocate for them should they need to go into the hospital. How outrageous that they were starving your family member. What evil monsters. It seems like many people are losing their humanity the past few years.
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I found that hospitalists are the most incompetent pieces of crap and should be stripped of ALL rights to be near other humans, period. Forget about practicing medicine.

My dad was given up for dead and when he survived, I was told he needed a memory care unit. He was fed sugar and they used insulin to regulate his blood sugar, oh and he had stage 4 kidney disease while being treated with such total disregard. He almost died and I believe it that was intention of the pos hospitalist. My dad didn't need insulin or memory care after getting out of incompetent care, makes me sick to this day.

I, too, had to blow a fuse to get him proper medical treatment. Such BS that anyone has to go there when you are suppose to be dealing with trained medical professionals.

I hope this isn't normal but, I am finding it is more common then not It is beyond immoral, it is criminal.

Unfortunately, I think that there are too few medical professionals that give a care and it is a HUGE blessing when we actually get one.

I chose not to pursue any malpractice, it was systemic and I don't believe that we would have received actual documents, so I saved my energy supporting my dad.

I found myself a better advocate after going through that horrific experience and I know that having an advocate in any medical situation is imperative, for anyone, of any age.

You did well, keep it up.
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There are a lot of things going on that don't ring true. First, if a patient has an NPO order throwing a fit would not result in a food tray being delivered 5 minutes later. Second, feeding through an IV is only indicated when the gastrointestinal tract cannot digest/absorb nutrients.

The first line of treatment for (nonintubated) patients with NPO orders and who can have nutrition pass through their GI tract is a tube inserted *through the nose* to deliver tube feeds.

If this patient was truly starved for 5-6 days then I would consider that substandard care and, in my opinion, the hospital stay/medical records should be reviewed by a medical malpractice attorney. A letter from an attorney stating that your relative has retained his/her services and is requesting the medical records may get the hospital to make a settlement offer.
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Disi11usioned Aug 2022
I had told two nurses about the lack of food, so it's possible the NPO had been dropped and they simply had not brought the food. I'm sure it would have gone into day 7 without the fit, and I don't know how much longer after that.

It's possible he was getting something through the IV, and the nurse told me incorrectly. I never saw a feeding tube. The nurse told me he had received nothing by any method, not by mouth, IV, nor feeding tube.

The hospital was responsible for 4 days of no nutrition. The nursing home for 2 before that. I was the one who put it all together. No one else seemed to be asking the question or seemed to think that food was important. Now we're second guessing everything and believing nothing anyone says. It's a terrible moral delimma. To lose all trust in the experts and the society that produces them. How can we function without that trust.
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>> Who is this relative's POA

I'm married to the POA. I'm on the elderly relative's HIPPA everywere. I kept the story short. I just can't believe they wouldn't give him any calories or nutrients until I blew up. But that's what happened.

>> Maybe he is under comfort care, meaning he is dying and to give him food now would only cause problems for a body that is shutting down.

He was in the hospital for an infection and was not on comfort care. It's unbelievable isn't it? The doc told us he was going to die. We recommended a specific antiobiotic, and guess what? A few days later he was clear of the infection and was discharged with a ten inch necrotic bedsore. I'm not clear if he had already been on that antibiotic, or if they put him on it once the fit-thrower demonstrated knowledge of it.

>> What's the reputation of this hospital?

All the hospitals here have a terrible reputation. The best one is supposedly fighting multiple malpractice lawsuits.
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PeggySue2020 Aug 2022
See a lawyer. See if they’ll take the case on contingency without you having to pay. Believe me if this is easily provable, then they will go for it.

Hospital records or lack of are almost impossible to doctor backwards.
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Who is this relative's POA, wife or child. Those people have a right to do something about it. Have you spoken to them? As a relative, they shouldn't have told you as much as they did because of HIPPA. Maybe he is under comfort care, meaning he is dying and to give him food now would only cause problems for a body that is shutting down.

If there is no one to speak for him, maybe you can get a tempory POA or guardianship. Then u will be able to get information on his care. Call an Ombudsman in your State and ask that they investigate. The desk Nurse or DON must give u the number.

Good Luck and please update us. We learn from others experiences.
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>>If you were that concerned that your relative wasn't getting any food, why didn't you bring them some until the hospital got their crap together?

It was day 5 before I realized he was not getting anything. It simply did not occur to me that someone in the hospital would be denied calories and nutrients to the point of... well I don't know how long they would have continued. Death? On day 5, I put it together. They gave me the stomach distress story and the doctor-must-order-it story. I gave them 24 hours before throwing a fit. Bringing him something was an option on the table if the fit didn't work.

I know now that I live in the greatest nation on earth where the medical system will starve my old people, and maybe me one day, to death and not even seem to notice they've done it. I just didn't know until I started asking what was in that IV and asking, "You know, he looks terrible, HAVE YOU TRIED FEEDING HIM!!!?"
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What FF wrote. In my limited experience, if a patient is NPO (can't eat orally), an IV is used to provide sustenance.

When my father was severely ill, he was NPO for 7 months in hospitals and rehab, then another 3 months before he could swallow naturally. During all that time, he was on tube feeding (through his stomach).

What's the reputation of this hospital? Have you checked online as well as with a local or state ombudsperson or the Medicare evals of hospitals, which if I remember correctly as of some years ago was available online?
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If you were that concerned that your relative wasn't getting any food, why didn't you bring them some until the hospital got their crap together? Obviously you would have to take any dietary concerns into consideration, but even if it was something as simple as some Ensure, that would have been better than nothing right?
I would NEVER let a loved one go hungry if there was something in my power to do about it, besides complaining to an already understaffed facility, where you are correct the elderly are often not a priority.
This speaks to the broken system here in the US where the elderly are concerned, and as more people get older it will only get worse if loved ones won't speak up. So kudos for speaking up, but if it were me, I would have also brought my loved one something, anything to eat within reason.
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sp19690 Aug 2022
You are missing the point.
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If all this is a slam dunk with records, I suggest you see a lawyer to take the case on contingency. That’d be about 40 percent of any settlement, but you won’t pay unless you win.
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Was there an NPO order?
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Yes, there was an IV. The nurse said he was not receiving any nutrients through the IV or in any other way and had not received any at all since he had arrived at the hospital. The staff were very nonchalant about the lack of calories and nutrients he was getting. The hospital gave him a ten inch necrotic bedsore that still has not healed. Guess what contributes to bedsores? Malnutrition. I was made aware of the stomach distress issue, but they didn't seem to care how long he went without nutrition before they did something. There's more...
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Disi11usioned, thee are times when a patient is so sick that giving them food would cause stomach distress. Did you notice if the patient was hooked up to an IV? If yes, they were getting nutrients via the IV.
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