I am caring for my 93 year old mother solo in an apartment we share but I have been caring for her many years. She has mild dementia and I am wondering if this is the reason she ignores me if I tell her I'm not feeling well and that she will have to wait a while longer for me to wait on her. She won't acknowledge my feelings and will come back at me with "my back hurts" or "I don't feel good either." You would think out of human compassion, she would at least acknowledge that I'm not well and patiently wait for me to help her. Some days I feel so unappreciated but I am trying to overlook her flaws and attribute it to her dementia. Is this apathetic attitude age related or am I too sensitive?
I am sure deep down most parents don’t want to burden their children, just like children deep down want to care for their parents but it goes on for so long that we burn out as caregivers and they give up from feeling helpless, not the healthy independent people they once were. As I said, hard for both involved, caregiver and parents or any loved one.
That’s a fairy accurate description of what I have seen at times. It bothered me so much that I saw myself changing but at the same time denying I was changing. I became very resentful of my fate. I was depressed about not having my freedom anymore.
I sometimes feel like my mom can’t understand how I feel and I absolutely know that I can’t possibly understand how she feels. I can’t imagine how it feels to be 93 with Parkinson’s disease. Then my empathy for her returns and the bitterness eases up. (which I get ashamed of) leaves. It’s complicated. No one really understands unless they have been in our shoes.