My MIL lives in her own home on her own. She is 89 and dealing with some cognitive decline. She frequently crawls due to back issues. She is not falling as far as we can tell. My husband took a picture and sent it to me and my sister-in-law. I am a teacher and therefore a mandated reporter. I don't think this is ok. My sister-in-law, who is the medical POA, thinks it's ok due to it not being a result of a fall, but instead because of back issues. She is really entrenched. If we do anything, there is a strong likelihood that the relationship will be damaged beyond repair. She does a lot for her mom. She is the primary caregiver.
So, is it ever ok to let the elderly crawl?
Your MIL cannot be left living alone in her house anymore.
Sorry, but your SIL is not her primary caregiver. If your MIL had one of those she wouldn't be crawling around her house to get from one area to another.
Your SIL probably does think her mother crawling around the house alone is fine because it means mom's staying out of a care facility hence preserving future potential inheritance. Or because the crawling keeps mom from having to possibly be moved into her house.
I think you would do well to not worry about potentially damaging family relationships by reporting to APS what's going on here. Your worry would be better placed in some thought about what happens if there's a fire in the house and your MIL can't crawl to an exit to get out. I'd worry more about that.
You know, I've been a homecare caregiver for almost 25 years. I have been in every situation that can possibly happen in a person's home. I have seen and heard it all. I've been on this forum for a long time too and have seen every manner of story here.
I can't believe that someone, a teacher, would ask such a question as "Is it okay to let the elderly crawl?" I am truly shocked and that is no easy thing to accomplish.
So, I will answer your question in the plainest possible language.
NO! IT IS NOT FREAKING OKAY TO LET THE ELDERLY CRAWL AROUND ON THE FLOOR LIKE INSECTS TO GET FROM ROOM TO ROOM!
IT IS NOT OKAY FOR AN ELDERLY PERSON WITH DEMENTIA WHO CRAWLS TO GET AROUND TO BE LIVING ALONE UNSUPERVISED!
None of this is okay.
Busy bodies are the worse, mind your life and let other mind theirs. Unless some abuse is taking place do not make your SIL life harder by getting APS involved. Caregiving is hard enough as is, no need to do it with a agency looking over your shoulder, having to do month checks and what have you. Please.
Can the back pain be treated?
There are exercises and treatment programs online that recommend crawling as beneficial, and state that crawling can rewire the brain. Maybe that is what is happening?
So maybe, don't panic. Be part of the solution by getting more information and talking to your husband.
I would suggest to Sis that there might actually be a remedy for Mom, but you won't know unless you get her to the doctor. She might benefit from a Cortizone shot, or some painkillers or physical therapy. You won’t know until you have her evaluated. I would really question Sis as to why she’s so adamant about not getting Mom any help. Back pain is excruciating, and even if her problem is spinal stenosis and nothing can be done, at least you'd know.
I would hope reporting it to APS would be a last resort, and a conversation with your sister would be the more effective route to take.
If so with the cognitive decline that might not be a good idea.
Does she have a walker that is sized for her and does she know how to PROPERLY use it?
Maybe an assessment by a Physical or Occupational Therapist might be a good idea.
It actually sounds like she needs more help, assistance than she or the rest of the family wants to admit.
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