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Debilitating back pain affects so many people and most times pain meds do nothing to get rid of the pain. I feel for this 89 year old woman who is in so much pain from her back that her only option is to crawl rather than walk from point A to point B.

I don't think a nursing home would be able to solve the issue. Maybe a pain management place has a solution for MIL.

But I agree with Burnt Caregiver that the family memembers should all sit down and talk about what is going on with MIL.

Though if SIL is like my mother the talk wont actually go over well and will just create more problems than solutions.
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Call Adult Protective Services. Report what you have witnessed. Let them sort it out.
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Sigh,

I'm answering your comment from below. My friend I have no faith in humanity. I have faith in my humanity though.
Do what's right for the sake of doing what's right.
Sure, it might piss people off. You might make enemies or lose a job like I did. If you can help a senior with dementia, or a child, or an animal to get out of an unsafe living situation, do it anyway.
Sometimes a person has to put some time in and do some legwork. No one is going to thank you or appreciate any of it. Do it anyway. It's a mitzvah (good deed) which makes a person better and elevates their soul.
I'm not a particularly nice person or even a friendly one. I'll always do right by somebody though. Not just for them but for myself.
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Sighopinion Mar 2022
That is fair, but unfortunately you are not the OP. The fact the OP had to ask means they are not going to do the leg work. The fact they are asking means deep down they are looking for some validation that it is okay to turn a blind eye.

At the OP it is okay to turn a blind eye if you are not going to do the leg work, let your MIL be and avoid the added headaches that come with APS being involved. My sample size with APS is small just this forum and another one, but they seem like they are kinda useless in most cases. If one does not do their due diligence and pesters them nothing will get done. I hope you do not expect your SIL to be calling for updates and what have you. As a teacher I doubt you have time, unless you are one of those teachers that just uses teachers pay teachers, to reduce your work load. (Dated a teacher once.)

Either way glad you are willing to piss people off, burn bridges with families, loose jobs etc… most are not. My old man once told me he was a whistle blower that reported a bank for discriminating against POC when it came to mortgages especially in affluent areas.

”Pride does not pay the bills.” Doing good at the expense of oneself personally makes no sense cause end of the day as you said only you really will be the only one to notice and in a sense putting in all that effort so you can sleep well at night or some do to bank chips so the wizard or whatever they believe in the sky views them favorably, or it just boils down to virtue signaling.

Either way if the OP is willing to do the leg work awesome, I am will the SIL would love the break. Though if the OP is just going to call and expect APS to sweep in a address the issue, or expect the SIL to field the phone calls, sudden visits with the case worker, and the doctor if they need a need to do a psych assessment in home. Then honestly, please do not be a busy body and leave well enough alone.
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You can get your mother-in-law knee pads until the issue is solved, so she won't hurt her knees. Sounds quite fun, though, crawling around the house.......
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worrieddil- your husband saw his own mother crawling on the floor, did he help her up, help her get to where she wanted to go? Or did he just take a picture and send it to you, a mandated reporter, and consider his job done?

You, being a mandated reporter, think you should report it so someone ELSE can help MIL. How about YOU and your husband take turns to come and stay with MIL to make sure she does not crawl on the floor? Or take her to doctor to get help for her mobility? Too busy to do that? But you think SIL who according to you "does a lot for her mom" should do even more? Any wonder why doing that might result in "the relationship damaged beyond repair" ?

You said "if we do anything... wil! result in relationships damaged...." I seriously doubt your "anything" includes actual hands on help that SIL needs for her mom.

So instead of making an easy phone call to report to someone body, go ask SIL what you and MIL's son can do to help so his mom does not have to crawl on the floor.
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