I’ve brought my mom with moderate Alzheimer’s to live with me. About every two or three nights she has bouts of screaming and talking in her sleep. Do I wake her?

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I’ve brought my mom with moderate Alzheimer’s to live with me. About every two or three nights she has bouts of screaming and talking in her sleep. Do I wake her?

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Should I let these episodes run their course or try and console her and or wake her? She calls out to her mom who died in 1973 to help her.

Alzheimer's & Dementia Sleep Issues

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How awful! Sorry you are both suffering with this. Terrible for your mom of course, and to be jolted out of sleep with screaming on a regular basis has to be ghastly for you as well. Have you talked to her doctor? There may be meds that could be adjusted, changed or added. Hoping others will have some ideas and that you both can get some relief from this situation soon!

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Thank you. Yes, I spoke with her doctor and was told this can happen in later stages. I have tried letting the nightmares run their course but it seemed cruel to just let her scream for help even though she was still asleep. I actually went in to her room to hear what she was saying between screams. Some of her sentences were quite disturbing but she was asleep. I tried waking her before and scared her even more because I was rubbing her arm to “wake her” . I’ve let the episodes run the course when it’s been gibberish but when she’s screaming for police and help, that scares me. I have put on lights vs touching her and called her name out trying to wake her and that seems to be safest way to rouse her from sleep but I am not sure if I should keep doing that. It is a rough thing to deal with but I can’t imagine her being in a facility and allowed to let her nightmares run their course with nobody there to comfort her when her subconscience is terrifying her.

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Terrifying is the word. For both of you, I should think.

It might be an idea to come up with some kind of time frame for how long you can let this continue. Did the doctor have anything helpful to say about how long this kind of phase typically lasts? Any strategies for alleviating such a distressing symptom if it goes on too long or gets worse?

In the short term your aim of finding the best, gentlest way of bringing her back must be what anyone would ideally want to happen, but you do also have to be realistic about how many broken nights you can cope with, and whether medication might be something to push for harder - especially as it's your mother who's suffering equally with you.

What about a change in night time routine, too? Could you try varying bedtime, bath time, her last meal, maybe a hot drink to help her settle - see if anything like that might make a difference? How is she during the day?

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Another thought is, is her doctor really up to snuff to deal with her issues at this point? Maybe you need a fresh pair of eyes assessing the situation.

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Are there any physical action that go with the verbal? Look up REM Sleep disorder. It is a symptom for certain types of dementia.

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My mom has these at times. I go in... Sometimes just softly saying sh..sh..sh is enough. Other times I give gentle pressure to her shoulder and it will calm her. Sometimes I sing a soft song or turn on a soft light, not the big overhead one. Some nights I sleep on a recliner in her room... It helps if I can her when she first gets a bit restless.
Good luck... It is scary for both of you. It also breaks my heart that mom is so upset.

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I would not wake her if she is still asleep.
I would hold her hand, talk quietly to her, even hum a lullaby. Possibly one she sang to you when you were young.
If she should wake tell her she is alright, she is safe and to go back to sleep.
Stay with her until she falls asleep or at least relaxes enough that she is comfortable.

I would talk to her doctor again about the night terrors and see if there is not an rx that will help.
If not then this is just another thing that you both have to get used to. But will all things Dementia related there is no telling how long this will last. My Husband never had nightmares like that, at least ones that woke him up.
Just know your Mom wants to be reassured that she is safe and loved. You can do that!

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Thank you all. Although quite terrifying for both of us, I do think it’s a learning experience. Since I’ve tried letting the dreams( nightmares) run their course at times, have tried to physically stroke her gently( won’t be doing that again anytime soon as she struck out at me in her sleep while screaming leave me alone, get off me) and also did the shh it’s me Mom you’re safe as I put on the lights. ( apparently a night light just casts scary shadows). Most times the episodes are gibberish sprinkled with screams of terror, but lately, the sentences are clear as a bell and are terrifying in nature along with blood curtling screams of help. I can’t let those run their course as no matter what is causing it, she is terrified.

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These r called night terrors. My Mom had these in early stages. Her neurologist said if they occurred more than twice a week he would give her Medicine for it. The one time her screaming went long I woke her up and had her open her eyes. Then she went back to sleep.

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Is it possible for you to play music at night in her bedroom while she is asleep? Calming Alpha Wave Music will be heard by her brain and possibly alleviate the nightmares. My Mother has difficulty staying asleep. She would often jolt awake after a couple hours and not be able to return to sleep immediately. I tried music therapy and now she sleeps a full 5-6 hours at a time.

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Search the Internet/YouTube for "Calming night terrors through Alpha Wave Music." It worked for my Mom.

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My mom used to scream out all the time-her dr did adjust her meds and seemed to help her alot-I agree so cruel to just let it happen. Sometimes I would simply turn on a soft light near her bed and it was just enough to wake her self up.

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My Mom would do this at times and tell me someone rang the doorbell, or that a man was looking in her window, which was impossible. It was 3 am and pretty terrifying to me as well. I used to lie awake listening for her, just hoping she would sleep calmly through the night. What helped her was a very dim nightlight so she knew where she was, in a room in my home and safe. I would go in, turn on a light and gently speak to her letting her know she was safe in my house. The music idea is good too. I used music in the mornings.
My Mom's episodes seemed to worsen when she had a UTI so I recommend testing for that too.

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my mom (stage 6) talks a lot during sleep but doesn't seem to be in distress so I let her go. I'm thankful she doesn't have the terrors. I like the suggestion about soothing music. You can find clock radios that will turn off after an hour or so. I'm going to keep that in my bag of tricks. Hope your situation improves.

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My husband talks in his sleep as if he is having a live conversation, but he has not had screams yet. I asked the doc about it and he said no meds can help with that. It is just the natural progression of the disease, unfortunately. I do not know what I would do if he starts screaming.

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The music is great. There is a Youtube video called Alive Inside. It is very touching. The part of the brain that recognizes music is not affected by Alzheimers nor dementia. I bought the headphones for my mom for doctor visits while riding in the ADA van. She has on a night lite and I have music on while she sleeps. No night terrors. Best of Luck.

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Another issue that seems unrelated is to have her hearing checked. When they cannot hear, often times they will manifest what they "think" they are hearing. My mother was so adamant about not getting a hearing aid. Turned out she had 80% hearing loss in both ears. After receiving the hearing aid, her sense of being completely changed. Then I saw her telling me she could hear the TV was a "fib" as now the volume is down much lower and life is much easier. Just have her open the HA at night to turn the battery off and good to go. Just food for thought.

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I give my dad Bach's Rescue Remedy spray every night for deep sleep.
It's homeopathic and non-addictive (non-alcohol).
Maybe that might help?
If she wakes up, you can do a couple more sprays...also for yourself.

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My Mom had Parkinson's Disease. A few years before her 'official' diagnosis of PD, every now and again Mom would scream in her sleep. My brother would wake her when this would happen, as he believed she was having a nightmare. Being woken up like that was always terrifying to her. As her disease progressed, these night terrors would become more frequent. My brother moved into his own home, and I moved in with Mom. I would also try to wake Mom gently when this happened, but didn't want to scare her, either. I also wanted to find out the root cause. Her doctor said he would give her some medication (Seroquel); we tried it, and it did not work for Mom. Then one day, when I woke Mom from her 'nightmare,' she didn't know who she was, where she was, or who I was....so off to the ER we went. A few hours later (with no diagnosis or treatment at that point), Mom began to regain her awareness. The ER doc said 'Total Global Amnesia' and sent us home. Mom's primary care doctor called us to recommend Mom take one aspirin a day (325 mg). He was worried the TGA episode could be a precursor to a stroke. That night, Mom took an aspirin as part of her daily meds. It was like a switch -- Mom had NO MORE night terrors when she took the aspirin. This makes me believe her terrors were due to a blood flow issue in her brain.

If your Mom can tolerate aspirin, it is worth a try. Please clear it with her doctor first. I hope you and your Mom can find a solution to this issue.

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My Aunt had these all the time when I first began to care for her. It is quite alarming and also disorienting for me and difficult for me to fall back asleep. I moved her Donepezil to the AM even though supposed to cause drowsiness. I began a 10mg time-release melatonin at night just prior to sleep or 30 minutes prior. I recently added in aroma therapy with lavender, vetiver and eucalypsis oils and start the diffuser an hour before bed in her room. Once settled in bed she gets grapeseed oil mixed with lavender and vetiver on the bottom of her feet and I let soak in and then put on socks. She seldom gets the night screaming anymore but if she does I normally just take her to the restroom as she has to go pretty bad and I think is disoriented. She has talked in her sleep most nights and continues to do so but with seldom frightening screaming sessions.

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My step granny got them from the Alzheimer's medication , maybe her meds need to be adjusted.

If she is a Believer, maybe put an audio bible to play through the night.

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Two things. Trazadone as a sleep aid can cause dramatic nightmares. Something to know. Also, I have terrifying dreams often...which I have come to view as horror movies. BUT before I got used to them...I wold have loved for someone to get me out of there by waking me. I fall back to sleep easily. I like the idea of helping someone in distress....real or imagined. Wake her gently. Give her a kiss. Say I love you.

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Lavender does calm some people. I like the idea of low music in the background. I will try that.

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Did she have any traumatic experiences in her life? Sometimes, suppressed memories have a nasty way of popping up.

Any ways, white noise from bedside fan, leaving the TV on at a low volume, 2 tspns of Pure Planet’s tart cherry concentrate before bedtime usually works on me. You may also try some gentle lullaby music CDs from local library. If you have any voice recordings of her mom, you may play it on during those episodes and see if it helps.

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What does her doctor recommend?

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My hubby talks in sleep sometimes. Counting numbers sometimes & I know how he gets into that cause I give him dot to dot books to do. SO that tells me it is what he has been thinking about before bed. I never have tv w shooting etc as that can become real to them. I find constantly reminding him he is safe & someone will always be w him. Even if he is working on puzzle or dot to dot he'll yell Help me help me but all he wants is to tell him he is safe & im w him. I may try the music theory. It's so sad. I think of myself being 4 yrs old in lge dept store & cannot se my mother the panic I feel. That is theirs so we constantly need to tell them they are safe & I am here.

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Once again thank you all! I had just learned about playing delta waves at night for sleeping and saw that several of you suggested music. As far as the natural progression of the disease goes, that’s what the doc has said. The most terrifying part for me is hearing the stories between the screams( possible suppressed abuse type of stuff) which I will now always wonder about. The obvious horrific part is hearing the screaming and wondering if we are in immediate physical danger. I’ve done the melatonin, essential sleep oils, no scary tv or movies, NO flipping news channels ever on, and try and shelter her from my dad’s woes ( he too has dementia) when he calls by redirecting her conversations to something positive they spoke about. ( they had to be separated because they were like a functioning 4 year old trying to care for a toddler along with a “babysitter”-caregiver in their home )Anyway, I brought my mom home with me in another state and she thinks she is on a temp. “ vacation” . Ok, back to the sleep thing... From what I can surmise, her sleep talking and screaming bouts seem to occur during her deep sleep time (REM) so although I like the music idea for me, I’m a little concerned about her getting into the relaxing stage of sleep. Since I wrote this question, the nightly events have been more babbling and sleep talking rather then the screaming. Although she seems to remain asleep during her night time conversations, she tells me she didn’t sleep well the next morning. The night of the horrific screaming, ironically in the morning , she told me how well she slept. Thank you everyone for your suggestions! I am going to wake her anytime the screaming happens but the talking or babbling I’m going to let run it’s course at night or I will end up becoming a neurotic mess leaping out of bed throughout the night to see what’s up.

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My husbands doctor prescribed Melatonin Ultra. It's a supplement, not a RX drug but it was a life saver when it came to night terrors, sleep walking, sleep violence toward others etc. Now he sleeps most nights and the nightmares are gone. I've heard that things like urinary tract infections can also cause nightmares. Maybe ask the doctor about the possible benefit of Melatonin Ultra?

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Ah, yes, my mom talks nonstop most nights. It's babbling. I think if she had EVER used her cpap machine it would have helped, as she's had sleep apnea for a couple of decades -- long before the cognitive disorder began to develop. She's on O2 at night now and that has helped some. She, too, claims that she didn't sleep a wink at night when I have been there and know that she was sleeping. She can't use music or white noise because her hearing is too poor.

You know, we all struggle with bad dreams, but don't remember them unless we awake or are awakened during the dream. Dreams are how we work out our anxiety. We're actually better off not being awakened, as the dreams are just temporary imaginations. If we're awakened the terror stays with us. If we sleep thru them they don't have lasting effects. If I woke Mom I think I would be doing it more for me than or her.

Thanks to everyone for all this support!

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Hi Alzh101,

My mother-in-law who lived with my husband and I had advanced Alzheimer’s. Although she did not have evidence of nightmares, she had fears prior to falling asleep, and she was a Sundowner. I believe night-terrors and fears associated with the disease is partly due to anxiety, which you can calm naturally.

What helped her the most was Magnesium, but not just any chelation of Magnesium will necessarily help. We learned about Magtein, which is also known as 'Magnesium L-Threonate'. It is the most successful with crossing the blood-brain barrier, and therefore helps relieve anxiety the most. She had it daily, and again prior to bedtime. She went from yanking and pulling her hair nearly every afternoon to not at all! Plus, it dramatically reduced the dreaded sundowning behaviors. Best of all, she slept very well each night! :-)

Spiritually speaking, I believe your mother is calling out to her mom because it's close to her time to cross over.

God bless you for caring for your mother at the most trying time in her life.

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I’ve brought my mom with moderate Alzheimer’s to live with me. About every two or three nights she has bouts of screaming and talking in her sleep. Do I wake her?

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