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Who are you caring for?
Which best describes their mobility?
How well are they maintaining their hygiene?
How are they managing their medications?
Does their living environment pose any safety concerns?
Fall risks, spoiled food, or other threats to wellbeing
Are they experiencing any memory loss?
Which best describes your loved one's social life?
Acknowledgment of Disclosures and Authorization
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment. You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
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Mostly Independent
Your loved one may not require home care or assisted living services at this time. However, continue to monitor their condition for changes and consider occasional in-home care services for help as needed.
Remember, this assessment is not a substitute for professional advice.
Share a few details and we will match you to trusted home care in your area:
You guys are the best friends ever! Daughter is anorexic, doing better after hospitalization about 8 years ago, also diagnosed with post traumatic distress, and a bunch of other crap that doesn't relate. Be aware of these "hospitals" that treat those with eating disorders, horrible. Am looking into the VA for long term care, dad is eligible, just a waiting time to get in. Just got done with the shower, dressing pressure soars, and yeast infection. My dad gave comments under his breath, paid no attention (WOW!) Daughter can't even go to her dad's across town for a length of time, he's been done for a while now, but reminds me "We are in for the rest of our lives." What a dumb statement to make provided her relationship problem is tied to his leaving the family (is that what men do??) My husband , daughter and I have apologized to each other today, one day at a time. My love to all of you for the support, thanks for not judging me.
I agree that daughter needs to find her own way at 30. Doesn't she have any friends she can move in with? She shouldn't be coming home every time she has a breakup. She needs to be on her own and find roommates if she can't afford to live alone.
I agree that it sounds like it's time to try to find dad some other accommodations so that you can get back to work to protect your own retirement finances. Good luck and keep us posted! And vent anytime you want to.
I think I would leave with my husband and let the squatters sort it out among themselves. Your husband is more important than their problems. Save your sanity and your marriage. Quit enabling the daughter to come home every time she has a tantrum. If your Dad is a vet tell the VA to do their part. You'll be amazed how your own health will improve.
Lay down the law now. Give daughter 30 days to find another place. Unless she has mental illness, a failed relationship is no reason to move back in w/mommy and daddy. Find a nursing home for your dad and get their help. Maybe you can time it to when he goes in for surgery. Tell him it's part of the recovery process from his surgery. I know this is all much easier said than done, but it sounds like you're at the end of your rope. There's nothing about your situation that can be made somehow more manageable, unless you take these drastic and permanent steps.
Well, my daughter moved back after a bad relationship, (3rd time.) So I feel like I've been displaced once again (moving my stuff out of her old room to God knows where, moving dad's stuff in to make the family room his (guess where the TV is at.) Tension? My dad's dementia is really starting to blossom. He doesn't want to do anything the doctors have told him to try and help himself, loves a pity party. So my negativity and/or depression is a reflection of his attitude. He won't go the senior center anymore because he doesn't like to be around "crazy people." Hey dad, you're on your way! He only wants family to take care of him, siblings are absentee. I haven't worked in almost 4 years, so loss of income, SS and my 401 contributions really bother me as far as our future. I'm sick of hearing about his trips to the bathroom, feeling guilty because I want to get out once in awhile without him in tow. Why does the family think this is a cakewalk? I have lived at the ER 3 weeks in a row through January and dad is having a toe amputated this Thursday. What next? Whew, sorry you guys, I had to get it out. ladeeM, thanks for the virtual hug, I really needed to vent!! -Annie
58yoc..... We all get sick of this... so vent away and let us know what's going on.... we'll listen, and see if we can brainstorm some ideas to help you out... let us know what is going on... sending you hugs.
Why did your daughter move back in? Get her to help with your dad if she's going to live with you. Take a date night out with your husband. Where is the tension coming from? Your dad or your husband?
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
and a bunch of other crap that doesn't relate. Be aware of these "hospitals" that treat those with eating disorders, horrible. Am looking into the VA for long term care, dad is eligible, just a waiting time to get in. Just got done with the shower, dressing pressure soars, and yeast infection. My dad gave comments under his breath, paid no attention (WOW!) Daughter can't even go to her dad's across town for a length of time, he's been done for a while now, but reminds me "We are in for the rest of our lives." What a dumb statement to make provided her relationship problem is tied to his leaving the family (is that what men do??) My husband , daughter and I have apologized to each other today, one day at a time. My love to all of you for the support, thanks for not judging me.
I agree that it sounds like it's time to try to find dad some other accommodations so that you can get back to work to protect your own retirement finances. Good luck and keep us posted! And vent anytime you want to.
Find a nursing home for your dad and get their help. Maybe you can time it to when he goes in for surgery. Tell him it's part of the recovery process from his surgery.
I know this is all much easier said than done, but it sounds like you're at the end of your rope. There's nothing about your situation that can be made somehow more manageable, unless you take these drastic and permanent steps.
Tension? My dad's dementia is really starting to blossom. He doesn't want to do anything the doctors have told him to try and help himself, loves a pity party. So my negativity and/or depression is a reflection of his attitude. He won't go the senior center anymore because he doesn't like to be around "crazy people." Hey dad, you're on your way! He only wants family to take care of him, siblings are absentee. I haven't worked in almost 4 years, so loss of income, SS and my 401 contributions really bother me as far as our future. I'm sick of hearing about his trips to the bathroom, feeling guilty because I want to get out once in awhile without him in tow. Why does the family think this is a cakewalk? I have lived at the ER 3 weeks in a row through January and dad is having a toe amputated this Thursday. What next? Whew, sorry you guys, I had to get it out. ladeeM, thanks for the virtual hug, I really needed to vent!!
-Annie