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Who are you caring for?
Which best describes their mobility?
How well are they maintaining their hygiene?
How are they managing their medications?
Does their living environment pose any safety concerns?
Fall risks, spoiled food, or other threats to wellbeing
Are they experiencing any memory loss?
Which best describes your loved one's social life?
Acknowledgment of Disclosures and Authorization
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment. You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
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Mostly Independent
Your loved one may not require home care or assisted living services at this time. However, continue to monitor their condition for changes and consider occasional in-home care services for help as needed.
Remember, this assessment is not a substitute for professional advice.
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Its time for her son to step up and move his mom close by so he can supervise her care locally. Having a neighbor check in on a 96 year old occasionally was not sufficient anyway.
I moved my parents from FL to Colo back in 2011 when dad could no longer drive at 88 yrs old. I found a lovely senior living apartment for them and began the job of helping them in their advanced years. From Independent Senior Living to Assisted Living to Memory Care for mom, 10+ years as their only child. I wanted to do what I could to help them w/o taking them in to live with me. I'm glad I did.
Consider that at 96, even if she is a spry, nonagenerien wonder, her days are truly numbered and she is on the brink of being very needy as she enters her final decline. She needs to be close to someone who can help at a moment's notice or she could end up on the floor for hours or days suffering. Either hire and manage caregivers from a distance, which is a system which will eventually break down as caregivers miss shifts and/or she needs more shifts and it become financially onerous, or move her into assisted living with many needs unaddressed, or get her moved closer so at least your spouse can deal with her issues more easily. Who is her POA? This needs to be addressed as well. None of this will be easy.
I think you are going to have to pick whether you are all out or all in, since she is so far away.
If you are her PoA, this doesn't mean you have to provide hands-on care to her but you are responsible for getting her the care she needs.
You can decide to move her close to you so you can manage her affairs (transition her into a facility). This is if she has the funds to pay for it.
You can hire a Geriatric Care Manager and paid aids to come in a few hours a day (if she can afford it). Does she cook for herself? How does she shop for groceries? Was the neighbor doing this, too?
Or, you report her to APS and hope that the courts will assign her a legal guardian (if you aren't her PoA or you resign) and then you are done being involved but you can still have your relationship with her, just not the management or responsibility.
Such a good thing to remind people (or teach them if they don't know) that being POA doesn't mean you are responsible for hands on care. That doesn't get mentioned enough and a lot of times you can gather after a few posts that the poster has no idea about this fact.
Google for daily phone calls to check on seniors and you'll see a list of companies that will call and check on her daily. Some are government-sponsored, others are private companies.
You could also sign her up for Meals on Wheels, if it's available in her area. The volunteers who deliver the meals can alert the overseeing agency if anything major is wrong with her (although they might only deliver on weekdays).
You could check with the management of the senior complex to see if they have a step-up level of care that includes a daily check.
Or you could help her move into an assisted-living facility.
It's probably time for your husband to move his mother to a facility close to your home so he can oversee her finances and healthcare. At her age it is not likely she will be able to live without 24/7 care within the next year.
It is time for the son to take some action. Is MIL doing ok on her own? It sounds like she is independent. That's great for her at 96! Start with asking her what she would like to do. If she is happy and content where she is, find someone else to check on her. Perhaps the onsite management at the sr. apt complex. You can hire (or mom can hire, if she has the funds) a companion aide to drop by regularly, do a few things for her as needed, and report to you on her condition.
She may not want to make a long distance move to be closer to her only family. Such a disruption at her age is often unwelcome, and could even cause a decline in her health and well-being.
I would be concerned with who is paying the bills / managing banking needs. It is possible that a person 96 could do this herself although I feel the son needs to be more involved and know what and how finances are handled. It is so very easy for an older person to be taken advantage of, and it happens so often with elders/financial concerns. I would hope her son would move his mother closer to him.
In the interim, son could hire an ind social worker to access situation and discuss possible next steps / needs with the son.
When my mother was in assisted living, dad hired a companion who showed up several days a week to help mom dress and take her to lunch. They went to movies, and the companion played cards and did puzzles with her. She would call mom on her days off if necessary; for instance to remind her of something or ask if she'd received a scheduled delivery.
If MIL is high functioning at 96, a companion might be the perfect answer. A companion does not toilet, bathe or do medical things (other than transport to doctor appointments or change an occasional bandaid). The cost of a companion is less than that of a medically trained aide.
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
I moved my parents from FL to Colo back in 2011 when dad could no longer drive at 88 yrs old. I found a lovely senior living apartment for them and began the job of helping them in their advanced years. From Independent Senior Living to Assisted Living to Memory Care for mom, 10+ years as their only child. I wanted to do what I could to help them w/o taking them in to live with me. I'm glad I did.
Good luck to you.
If you are her PoA, this doesn't mean you have to provide hands-on care to her but you are responsible for getting her the care she needs.
You can decide to move her close to you so you can manage her affairs (transition her into a facility). This is if she has the funds to pay for it.
You can hire a Geriatric Care Manager and paid aids to come in a few hours a day (if she can afford it). Does she cook for herself? How does she shop for groceries? Was the neighbor doing this, too?
Or, you report her to APS and hope that the courts will assign her a legal guardian (if you aren't her PoA or you resign) and then you are done being involved but you can still have your relationship with her, just not the management or responsibility.
You could also sign her up for Meals on Wheels, if it's available in her area. The volunteers who deliver the meals can alert the overseeing agency if anything major is wrong with her (although they might only deliver on weekdays).
You could check with the management of the senior complex to see if they have a step-up level of care that includes a daily check.
Or you could help her move into an assisted-living facility.
Start with asking her what she would like to do. If she is happy and content where she is, find someone else to check on her. Perhaps the onsite management at the sr. apt complex. You can hire (or mom can hire, if she has the funds) a companion aide to drop by regularly, do a few things for her as needed, and report to you on her condition.
She may not want to make a long distance move to be closer to her only family.
Such a disruption at her age is often unwelcome, and could even cause a decline in her health and well-being.
In the interim, son could hire an ind social worker to access situation and discuss possible next steps / needs with the son.
If MIL is high functioning at 96, a companion might be the perfect answer. A companion does not toilet, bathe or do medical things (other than transport to doctor appointments or change an occasional bandaid). The cost of a companion is less than that of a medically trained aide.