I'm not sure what to do. I have a caregiver that comes in Mon-Fri 8 to 5 while I'm at work. The intent is that she will help with all things that my mom needs. This includes showering. However, my mom says that she only wants me to help her. Quite frankly, I HATE it. I know it sounds selfish, but I don't like doing it, I'm not comfortable doing it and it really sets me off. The nurse asks my mom everyday hoping that she will cave but no luck. I try to explain to her that she needs to allow the help because it's too much for me and she tells me that she's private and I need to do it because I'm her daughter. Then there is her irritated behind...ie pressure sores. She gets this from sitting too much obviously, and guess who has to change her bandage? Yep, I HATE it even more than the shower drama. I don't know how to convince her that the nurse is willing and can do it for her. She is so damn stubborn. Any advice is appreciated.
Exactly! These selfish elders! Time for Mama to be given an ultimatum -- shower and bandage changing when the nurse is there, or off to a facility she goes.
Sorry, I don't have any advice. Just sharing my story, and hoping for a sage advice from someone.
parents think that their care should fall totally on the shoulders of their children. Providing her care 8 hrs a day is very generous.
You have a right to do only the things you feel comfortable doing.
Take a stand now or believe me it only gets worse!
As for the pressure sores, it isn't usual for people without complete immobility to get pressure ulcers, the pain alone would cause us to shift our weight or get up and move. Have you worked with OT to at least get her a proper pressure relief cushion?
Not a getting clean and dealing with those sores is not an option, so Mom will have to move to a place where they will not take her "no" for an answer. OR....she can cooperate with you and stop being an obstructionist. Her choice.
You are working full time...Mom needs to see that you have serious needs, and contribute to her own care.....allow the paid help to do her job and thereby help you by letting up on some of the work load. Your Mom is being selfish. Time to straighten it out.