Please help us. Our mom is 87 and has stage 3 lung cancer. She lives with me and my husband. 5 of my brothers are fighting bad. 2 want her to do hospice. 2 don't want her to. And me and one brother just don't know. She is very sick and takes a lot of medicine. I kind of think she should do it. I don't like to say it but I hate to clean her pamper. It makes me throw up. My brothers help a lot. But I gotta clean her whole body everyday. Cause if I don't every body says she smells. And that's true tho. I'm running out of patience for all this. I just want her at rest. And start a family for myself. I got married 22 months ago and soon as we got our apartment she was sent here. My brothers say it's better for her to be with her daughter. She suffers so much that it makes us cry. What should we do? Please help.
Hospice will have an aide come and help with a shower a couple times a week...not twice a day. A nurse will come around once a week or more as needed.
The primary reason I turned to hospice was because of the high level of pain my Mom was experiencing. The Doc had given up ... he had no more to offer my Mom.
I signed my dad up because I needed the support and guidance. I didn't know what to do :(
In MY EXPERIENCE it was a good thing. if your mom is dying (so sorry) and theres NO QUESTION then why should they be arguing? idk?? they are going to help you and make your mom comfortable to the end. maybe they don't understand how it works.
maybe a family meeting together with a hospice nurse.?
You sure do have a lot of brothers! 7 Wow, I am also an only girl with 3 brothers.
Thank your lucky stars they help you. I think both sides, the yays and nays, are convinced their choice would be doing what's best for the Mom, they love so much. So just be patient with the arguing, this is a huge decision.
I'm facing it right now concerning my Mom. Someone, just this morning, told me to go to Medicare.gov/hospice to get some more information.
Take the advice given above. Maybe with all the info, and individual questions, cares, fears and concerns addressed, everyone can get on the same page. Let's hope🤞
Cyber Huggz 🤗
my dad passed in AL and my mom still resides in the same room. I don't have any negative feelings to the apartment room. complete opposite I feel close to my dad in that room
edit: not saying you have to feel the same way ...
Medicare will cover respite care of 1 week.
If you have her admitted to a regular hospital...hospice is no longer involved....they must terminate service if she goes to an acute care hospital. Of course, you would take her to ER..it would be up to the Docs if they will admit her.
Joann.... My Mom died over a year ago. Altogether, she was on hospice for just under 3 weeks. I still blame myself for not turning to them sooner. Not until her Doctor admitted to me that he had nothing else to offer to help Mom....only then did I call hospice. I should have done it sooner
I'm glad you said you wish you'd signed Mom up sooner. I'm doing that now and was hoping I wasn't doing it too soon.
Try to let that guilt go Katie. I'm sure you did the best you could with what info you had at the time. This is the hardest damd thing I've ever done in my life!💖
See All Answers