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By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
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V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
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Mostly Independent
Your loved one may not require home care or assisted living services at this time. However, continue to monitor their condition for changes and consider occasional in-home care services for help as needed.
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@ Eyerishlas In order to put someone in an assisted living or any other alternate living situation you must have power of attorney to do so. Unless they are willing to do this themselves.
Actually I meant memory care/skilled nursing. Every place I visited gave me a form that had to be authorized by a doctor before they would allow her to move in. We live in Colorado. Does it vary by state?
I'm sure she does put on a show for the Dr. Or for anyone not close to her.
I don't understand why you need a Dr.'s note to get her into assisted living. If she's in a wheelchair I don't think she'd be eligible for assisted living, she'd have to skip it and go right to a nursing home. And you don't need a Dr's recommendation for a nursing home OR assisted living. You tour some places, decide which suits your mom best and sign the papers (there's more to it than that but it doesn't include a Dr.'s note).
Thanks all. I really DO NOT want to be held hostage to this. My brother is currently living with her and taking care of her the best he can (his children are grown and my child is very young). However, she is wheelchair bound and it is a lot of work for him. Aside from the amount of work she is mean and manipulative. I tried to get her into assisted living but her doctor would not sign the required paperwork. I think my mom presents an entirely different version of herself when I take her to the doctor. She is very hard of hearing so the last time we went to the doctor I told the doctor about her behavior and my concerns. The doctor told my mom she needed to quit smoking and that is about it. I am really exasperated. Am I doing something wrong? Also, my brother needs to get a job. He can't keep on like this. She is driving both of us insane.
Your mom says that she'll kill herself if you don't go over there yet she's refusing help? She can't have it both ways. She either wants help ("come over or I'll kill myself") or she doesn't want help.
Does she have dementia? Does she live alone? Does she have people who are caring for her when you can't get there?
Wanting to take someone to the ER and actually getting them there are 2 different things. Yes, if you can get her to the ER and get her to admit that she's threatening suicide she will be admitted but if she won't admit it or you can't get her there you're right back where you started.
The "I'm going to kill myself if....." tactic is very, very manipulative and effective. We think we'd better do as the person says just in case.....And we don't want that on our conscience. I don't know if your mom would actually kill herself or not but her request is manipulative, sneaky, wrong, selfish, self-centered, egotistical, and self-serving. Do you drop everything and go running? If so, that's why she continues to threaten suicide. What would happen if you didn't go running?
My suggestion would be to not go to your mom when she threatens suicide. If you can get her to the ER better yet. You can try 911 but they won't take her if she's lucid and refuses to go.
Ah, we have been down that road. When mom said she wanted to go down that road, I told her "Stop taking your meds. It will all be over in 48 hours." When she said "I want to have a big heart attack" I told her "Make sure you sign the DNR" Don't let her bully you or manipulate you. When mom announced imminent death, we sent 911 to the house. Call her MD and report suicidal intent. She will get the 72 vacation in the psych ward and that should cool her jets a bit. She might get some happy pills and that would be a good outcome.
Next time she does that, take her to the ER and tell them she's theatening to kill herself. They should admit her for a psych evaluation. When they've done that, get the hospital's social services department involved. They will help you figure out what's best for her.
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
In order to put someone in an assisted living or any other alternate living situation you must have power of attorney to do so. Unless they are willing to do this themselves.
I don't understand why you need a Dr.'s note to get her into assisted living. If she's in a wheelchair I don't think she'd be eligible for assisted living, she'd have to skip it and go right to a nursing home. And you don't need a Dr's recommendation for a nursing home OR assisted living. You tour some places, decide which suits your mom best and sign the papers (there's more to it than that but it doesn't include a Dr.'s note).
Does she have dementia? Does she live alone? Does she have people who are caring for her when you can't get there?
Wanting to take someone to the ER and actually getting them there are 2 different things. Yes, if you can get her to the ER and get her to admit that she's threatening suicide she will be admitted but if she won't admit it or you can't get her there you're right back where you started.
The "I'm going to kill myself if....." tactic is very, very manipulative and effective. We think we'd better do as the person says just in case.....And we don't want that on our conscience. I don't know if your mom would actually kill herself or not but her request is manipulative, sneaky, wrong, selfish, self-centered, egotistical, and self-serving. Do you drop everything and go running? If so, that's why she continues to threaten suicide. What would happen if you didn't go running?
My suggestion would be to not go to your mom when she threatens suicide. If you can get her to the ER better yet. You can try 911 but they won't take her if she's lucid and refuses to go.
Do you really want to be held hostage like this?
When mom announced imminent death, we sent 911 to the house.
Call her MD and report suicidal intent. She will get the 72 vacation in the psych ward and that should cool her jets a bit. She might get some happy pills and that would be a good outcome.