My mother who is 90, and has been in a Memory Care unit for 4 years now has been recently diagnosed with a malignant form of skin cancer. We are waiting on the labs to confirm the doctors suspicions. It was not there on Jan 12 and now on Feb 24 it is 2 cm x 2 cm and growing fast with necrotic tissue in the middle. All very bad signs.
Doctor wants to operate on March 9. He says it's outpatient surgery and may require rehab for wound care post op. The doc wants to do a skin graft, she won't be able to walk, anesthesia will affect her quality of life and care, etc. Mom's LBD is already stage 6 almost to stage 7. She talks in loops, can't remember what she had for breakfast (at lunch) and is in pain.
I had her in the doctors office to look at her Venous Stasis and have a doctors opinion as the Memory Care medical system is slow and were not taking note of the lesions rapid growth.
I am wondering if we don't do surgery? But start the walk with hospice? It is a gut wrenching decision.
I don't know much about palliative care. Could someone point me in the direction of good information?
an elderly, infirm patient through a skin cancer treatment does. Don't agree to the surgery, it is too much, and VERY stressful for them. (skin grafts, open wounds,
bleeding) Make her as comfortable and happy in her time left. End of life care is
very advanced, dignified and the kindest you can do for her.
God Bless You for being such a loving child.
My own wife of 58 years of marriage died Feb. 5th, 2022. I am very empathetic, understand pretty well what you will be going through.
You need to go on the internet and download the DURABLE POWER OF ATTORNEY FORM, so next of kin can make arrangements with doctors, banks, healthcare decisions and end of life decisions for the ill person.
If the ill person is too sick to sign the form, you must go to his/her two doctors to confirm health disability; also two witnesses to your signature for her, in place of hers, in front of a Notary.
We called Vitas Healthcare and put her in Hospice Care at home. I just went through this same agony. Wife 82 died after 1 year of pain and misery, agony. Even in Hospice care for that year, she couldn’t talk, couldn’t move, had pain, but we couldn’t assess just how bad it was.
Your first priority should be getting her pain under control. Hospice nurses promptly respond to your questions. She’ll probably have to be sedated, because any serious diseases goes through stages, Able to walk, able to sit up, able to roll over… with assistance, then immobile. Bedsores become an everyday occurrence, treatable to a degree only. They won’t heal.
My wife suffered so much. Wasn’t able to eat or drink, even with baby bottles. We had her on 1 mL (liquid Morphine) every four hours, orally in cheek or under tongue till she passed. There were a couple of other meds given just to keep her comfortable.
1st thing: Immediately get the Notarized Durable Power of Attorney done. Don’t delay! It will make things tougher.
Call a Hospice Healthcare. Your choice. Get recommendation from Hospital; patient’s current health insurance will auto-terminate when Hospice starts. Hospice supplies most of the equipment and moves it in for you. Full electric bed, bed table, diapers, etc.
If you need guidance and helpful suggestions, message me.