Her Dr. said to keep her foot elevated and get her to walk more. But mom -- 86 yrs with midstage dementia ---barely walks and if I try to do any exercise with her, she will shriek, 'you are killing me, ' leave me alone'. She has trouble wearing her slippers due to the feet swelling. So what should I be doing? I do put pillows under her feet at night. If I put a foot stool in front of her, she will keep her feet up only if I'm standing vigil.
Also, her feet are black-ish due to poor circulation. She needs to have an ultrasound done of her feet to figure out what exactly is happening. But mom has refused the u/s saying she has lived to be 86 with no issues and to just "leave her to her fate".
As some of you all know, I got her from our home country of India in 2019 when she couldn't live alone there anymore. She's very used to thong sandals (Clark's type) in hot tropical India and refuses to wear any type of shoes, orthopedic footwear here in the cold northeast. Now her feet swell and she can't fit into the one & only sandal she has. She refuses to wear socks for fear of slipping. She has never worn socks in her life so far. Does anyone make giant toe socks which will easily slip on her feet?
Should I take her kicking & screaming for the foot u/s?
Swelling in feet: be careful there’s no liquid retention. Serious causes of feet swelling can be: urinary retention (bladder problem), kidney problem, lung problem, or heart problem.
There can be other causes: not serious.
Weary's mother had to be brought over from India because of her decline with Dementia. She was able to get a Green card but she is entitled to no services here for 5 years. No Medicare or SS because she did not pay into it. No Medicaid until she resides here 5 yrs. To answer Fawnby, her Mom has Dementia so hard to make her to comply to anything.
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are lightweight and completely open toe
or
https://www.brightlifedirect.com/products/allegro-essential-sheer-knee-high-8-15-mmhg-ot?variant=31840201375857?wi=off
https://www.amazon.com/Sunny-Health-Fitness-Elliptical-Frictionless/dp/B07QZHNWK8/ref=asc_df_B07QZHNWK8/?tag=hyprod-20&linkCode=df0&hvadid=343194339339&hvpos=&hvnetw=g&hvrand=10011658438419800000&hvpone=&hvptwo=&hvqmt=&hvdev=c&hvdvcmdl=&hvlocint=&hvlocphy=9033430&hvtargid=pla-783053263601&psc=1&tag=&ref=&adgrpid=69473715059&hvpone=&hvptwo=&hvadid=343194339339&hvpos=&hvnetw=g&hvrand=10011658438419800000&hvqmt=&hvdev=c&hvdvcmdl=&hvlocint=&hvlocphy=9033430&hvtargid=pla-783053263601
and
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I am more concerned that your mother needs to see an internal medicine doctor for a thorough physical. She definitely has circulation problems in her legs, but she most likely has heart failure which can be treated with diet and medications.
Your update states that they are dark red.
As the swelling comes down, she might be more amenable to walking.
I am not sure about toe socks but I had to get husband's aunt 93 extra large men's socks due to her feet being so wide and swollen. Just checked and Amazon does have men's toe socks!
They are adults and you cannot force them to do anything.
Sneak fluids in her using soups, sherberts, applesauce, jello , etc. These all count as liquids. Most elderly love their soups.
We purchased an electric recliner that slowly helps her to recline and elevate her legs and this is going somewhat well. It took Since last September to get her to agree to elevate her legs. It's hard, but you just have to keep reminding her. I put signs up all around her room.
She already has doctor's advice.
You got 'lucky' on that, probably thinking she was going to wind up a double amputee and simply being prescribed lotion!!
I get it, though. The immobility does cause her skin to be swell and can make already tender feet much worse. Circulatory problems become more pronounced. Mom hasn't got CHF or kidney issues, but she is so immobile her feet are always very swollen. She makes a point of wearing thick socks 24/7 and can't get into any shoes...but she's 92 and in poor health. She can walk about 200 steps a day and that's it. She also is severely dehydrated all the time and there is nothing I can do to encourage her to drink more. 6 oz of coffee at breakfast, then a 12 oz bottle of Coke that lasts her the rest of the day. I have long since quit trying to encourage her to drink more. Even a quart of water would make us all happy. But she has urinary incontinence and she keeps as little fluid in her as she possibly can.
And of course she states that she drinks ice water all day, and once I opened her freezer and said "Oh, ice water made with these magical ice cubes? (ALL the ice trays were empty and obviously had been for ages).
We have to pick our battles with our elders. This is not the hill I wish to die on, so I ignore her when I can tell she's obviously dehydrated, which is always.
The skin did look blackish to me but in the Dr office's office, in the bright lights and mom's foot properly up on the table, it was dark red.!
Thank you
to sit in that has a remote to lift the feet. I would get his feet up at least 4 hours a day and slather lotion on legs and feet. He would often fall asleep when chair was back giving his feet an extra hour to be up. His feet went from sausages to regular feet very quickly. We all chipped in on the lift chair.
Speaking of salt, she'll have to limit her salt intake, as it causes swelling.
Add turmeric and cayenne pepper to her diet, as they have natural antiinflammatory agents. Additionally, magnesium supplements and foods high in magnesium like almonds, spinach, tofu, cashews, and broccoli. Also foods like bananas that are high in potassium will help.
Buy her compression socks and tell her she is NOT to walk around in them, they are for when she is sitting and sleeping only, and she should remove them before walking around to prevent slipping and falling. Just wearing them will help.
If she won't get up and move, perhaps she will do some stretches and leg lifts? Any movement of her legs is helpful, she doesn't have to actually get up if she's that resistant. She can do knee raises, different forms of leg lifts, and many exercises with resistance bands.
Finally, inspire her! Show her videos of Ernestine Shepherd, the over 80 year old woman who still works out and does bodybuilding. Put some light hand weights near her chair. Put on her favorite dance music and see what happens. She might just get up and dance!
Also, plenty of water! 8 to 10 glasses per day.
Good luck to you and your mom!
Thank you for the nice. suggestions.
Thank you all for keeping us in your thoughts - much appreciated!
Blackish feet may indicate amputation is required.
1. You've asked that this thread be closed. If you still want that to happen, contact the Admins. On the right hand side at the bottom of this page is an "About Aging Care" link. That takes you to a small dialog box which you can use to contact the Admins directly.
2. If and before the thread is closed, I'd like to offer a suggestion for someone who doesn't want to walk. My father used a small pedaler, similar to bike pedals, but which could be used for arms if placed and weighted down on a table, and is like bicycling when placed on the floor. He sat in his chair and listened to music, and pedaled, and pedaled until he hit his goal.
They look like this, and can be bought online, or in DME shops:
https://www.ebay.com/itm/265510993768?hash=item3dd1b03f68:g:lNAAAOSwW~NgWr7V
Some of the catalogues with a variety of stuff ranging from kitchen goods to medical ones also sell these. Dad bought his several years ago for about $15.
3. I have a feeling your mother wouldn't cooperate, but if you can create some kind of relaxation event, with music, perhaps a special treat before or after, you might be able to encourage her. If you can think of some way to "bribe" her, that could be effective.
4. Otherwise, I'm with others that the blackish feet are a red flag and demand immediate medical attention, whether Mom agrees or not. Are there any men in the family who could influence her? (Sometimes folks from other countries are more receptive to men than women.)
Good luck; I can't imagine how difficult and challenging this is for you.