She is well able to pay this amount and would be paying over $5000 a month for assisted living if our home was not available. My wife and I are both retired and live on fixed income, and it helps out tremendously. She thinks we are taking advantage. Would appreciate other opinions.
During my mother's general 'age-related decline' in her 80s I didn't feel comfortable asking for monitary compensation for simple tasks of doctor appts., meds mgmt., shopping. By doing those things - my mother was able to make short, close trips for herself. It kept her more active & alert. After her first stroke, the tasks became 24/7. That's when it became problematic.
Since she feels the amount is too high, she must not feel that she needs that much 'care'. With the information provided, my questions would be; Does she even think she needs care? If she thinks $2K/mo is too high, what does she think is fair?
I know if my parents were to move in with me, they would volunteer to pay for their care, down to the last penny. The reason I know this is that no matter how small an item I buy for them using my own money, they will quickly repay me, even if I say no.... but that's my parents, I don't expect all parents to do the same.
As for the assumption that kindness is granted only in proportion to the parent's monetary contribution, that is so not true. Oregongirl said it very succinctly in another thread " There is not enough money in the world to pay a Caregiver that is a family member." Often there is no money at all (and that's why a family member is needed to take on the task) but even if there is, there's no way the money could compensate for the stress, the exhaustion, the years of keeping one's own plans and goals on ice while tending to the needs of another. Try walking in someone else's shoes before presuming to judge their intentions.