My abusive grandmother refuses to remove herself as my representative payee on my Social Security to keep me financially trapped. Any advice on removing myself from the situation?
My grandmother has always hated me and this is no exaggeration. I am 20 years old with PTSD thanks to her. I’m struggling to escape from her narcissistic abuse. When I was young (between 6 and 12) she was physically violent but thankfully is not anymore. She lied to department of child protective services and said that I am the abuser even though I was covered in bruises. Her golden child, my brother Mathew, helped my grandmother frame me by recording the part where I defended myself. Conveniently, no one recorded the part where she attacked me. When I turned 13 is when the hatred begun. I didn't have any menstrual products when I started in the middle of class thankfully, my teacher let me go to the bathroom because I felt something weird. I had to ask my grandpa for help (both of them legally had custody of me because they damaged my biological mother to where she can't even take care of herself or any children). After that, my grandmother would become so angry with me and would always complain about how I smell. I tried to be a loyal, good kid but all of this changed when I entered high school at 14. I started 9th grade and I passed all of my classes. My grandmother tried to project her faults onto me; how she regrets having any kids and wishing that I was aborted or that my fetus got recycled by the Chinese to turn into birth control pills. At this time she had to take a medication because if she didn't it would cause seizures. Thanks Effexor for making my grandmother an addict. My grandmother frequently tells me to "go f*ck myself" or to "go to hell" and one time even told me to “kill myself”. She bullies me and says that I have no friends when that is not true. She became extremely jealous when I received my high school diploma and enrolled for Pelissipi State College.
My grandmother is a sick human being she's trying to drive me to suicide (she even admitted that my sister-in-law killed herself because of her). My grandmother has done nothing but start arguments with me. I can't even get on the phone with Pelissipi to get my log-in information because of the constant yelling in this house. She refuses to get psychiatric help. She caused my grandpa to have a heart attack. She has pinned everyone against me by telling lies. She even tried to lie to the cops about me. She keeps threatening to file false police reports against me. She refuses to remove herself as my representative payee on my Social Security to keep me financially trapped. My grandmother uses her medication as an excuse for her horrible behavior but this is straight up narcissistic abuse. I have called several independent living departments that kept giving me the run around. I would report her to the cops but she will lie to them and I don't want to go to jail over this evil toxic granny's fabricated evidence against me.
I'm sorry for the difficult situation you are in. While we're happy you have found the support of others here on this site, there are limits to what untrained members of the forum can provide for you.
If you are experiencing thoughts of suicide, please reach out to experts for additional support by calling the 24/7 National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-8255. You may also want to contact the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-787-3224 or explore their website here: https://www.thehotline.org/.
Hopefully you will be living on campus so will be away from Gma. I suggest you find out what jobs are available on campus so you can make your spending money and maybe save some. My DH was able to hold down 3 sm jobs. One was cleaning up the dining room after the meals. Maybe you can find something in walking distance from the school. Get a Summer job near the campus. The College town near me people rent out rooms in their homes. Maybe you can find something like this.
To me it looks like Gma has been mentally ill for years. You probably will never understand why she seems to hate you. Could be because ur a girl. She may not even know why she treated you the way she did. You do need to leave that house and have no communication with Gma, your brother or anyone else who never helped you. I mean it, no communication. You need to disappear and start a life of your own. These people are toxic and will never be there for you. Do not jump into a relationship because you are needy for someone to love you. It will show and you may be taken advantage of. This is a time to learn how to be independent and rely on only you. No, it won't be easy but it will be so worth it in the end. The friends and loves will fall into place. Let everything happen in their time. If there is free therapy given at College, take advantage of it. And one thing talked about on this forum is...NEVER PHYSICALLY CARE FOR A PERSON WHO HAS ABUSED YOU IN ANY WAY. This goes for physical and verbal abuse.
Good Luck on your new journey.
But then I will say, why the hell are you still living in such a toxic environment if it's causing you such grief? Surely you have a friend who would let you crash on their couch for the time being, and if not I would rather live on the street than to put up with what you supposedly are putting up with.
One thing I have learned over the years and that is that people will treat you how YOU allow them to treat you. Hopefully in time you will learn that too and start surrounding yourself with positive uplifting people.
And not only does your grandmother need psychiatric help, but you do as well. I hope and pray that you will get some soon so you can start living the life that God has for you.
Involve the school counselors heavily too. Financial aid.