Patients, a licensed caregiver and two CNAs. my brothers insurance ran out. So he paid $1500.00 out of pocket to stay at this place. my brother is far from comatose, he needs help going to the bathroom, he has a wound that is almost superficial, he talks very well, he has trouble using his left arm and left leg, but he can move them but not enough to help himself with the left side, I feel like from the rehab facility to where he is now, were just in it for the money. I have dealt with people after they have had a stroke, everyone of them were different, but the same. some could where others couldn't etc. Im just trying to give you the idea that I think he should've been a little further along. to the point to where I want to bring him over here with me and work with him. But I can't bc I live with my dad and I takecare of him.
everytime they moved him to a different facility the physical therapy got less and less. of course. But I never seen him do any physical therapy I have only seen him do paper worksheet stuff. now he is in a place that has patients that are there for the end of life. none of them talk. I don't even know if they arent aware of their surroundings. this is a house that someone turned into the end of life place. on caregiver one cna and 4 comatose patients. the skilled nurse facility he left to come to this place just told him his insurance wouldn't pay anymore money to this skilled nurse facility last Monday my brother was told he had until Friday to find a place to go. it was all rush rush hurry hurry and we applied for az long term and was told until we got through our interviews financial and medical (about 90 days) that he would be pending and that they would find him a place that take pending A.L.T.C.S. (Az long term care services), so someone that knows where to look placed him where he is now. I have been going down to the valley 4 times a week. since January 6th this yr. I live up north, that's three hours away. and when I go down there I leave my home early like 3a or 4a and takecare of what I need to takecare of and I drive back up here to be with my dad by night time. my dad is ok with me gone all day once in awhile. that's why I backed off from going down to the valley so much. bc leaving my dad to be here all day isn't ideal. infact I worry the whole time I'm gone. now I only go once a week or every 10 days. but now I'm going to have to go down and take him to Dr. appointments bc he doessn't drive. I just don't know how I;m going to beable to spread myself much thinner. isn;t there better options for him? Im worried, no I know that he wont get any closer to being able to do everyday living activitiesat this place. they have no equipment to do any exercises or anything to help him get closer to being able to transport himself or being able to move back home and be able to care for himself. someday and now I feel its further down the road. this place is not at all what he needed or needs. I almost just want to bring him up here and work with him myself. plz help us, if anyone knows anything, bc I am at a loss. He can't afford to pay for another month. He would like to move back to his house and let someone that can help him stay at his house and takecare of him. is this something that happens very often? like a live in caregiver
With POA you would not be responsible, your brother would be responsible. He needs to assign these to you before you sign anything else.
AZ has great forms on the AG website for POA. Needs to be notarized and have a witness but, gets you the legal authority to sign for him and not be personally responsible.
I, highly, recommend doing the DPOA for financial and medical AND the mental health POA that can never be revoked. Especially with a stroke, your brother will have cognitive issues, it's what happens, so you want to be prepared in the event he gets wild, you will have the legal authority to help him.
FYI, the POAs are called General Durable, read carefully before you fill them in. I almost got the wrong one for my dad and it could have caused unnecessary problems.
Charlotte
He is in the middle of qualifying for that placement.
It is doubtful after all this time that there will be appreciable improvement to the extent he can live alone.
I very much hope you are not attempting to act as POA here, and hope your brother has the guardianship and help of the state and court appointed fiduciaries to manage his placement, applications, and etc.
At some point we are face to face with our human limitations.
Not everything in life can be fixed. It's a kind of hubris to think you might have the powers of a god or 50 Saints to make all of this OK. You simply do not.
I would at this point get some help for yourself from a therapist so that you can comb out in your own mind the tangle that's there regarding what can be done and what cannot. You need to bring some peace to your mind before the sadness of everyone in your life brings you down to a level from which you cannot function.
I am so very sorry for all that is happening.
It is basically endurance now for you, and the understanding that you cannot fix this; it is beyond what any one person could do.
I wish you and your family so much better luck. This is devastating.
Call social services for his county and see if they can send someone to him. If he's about to qualify for Medicaid, then he will get a caseworker and he'll be on their radar. Just be patient and wait. Does your brother have a PoA? If not, he can assign someone. If he's not cognitively able to do this, then social services will recommend his case to a judge who will court-order a him a legal guardian. If this happens then that guardian will be happy to work with you to relocate him to a facility closer to you, if there are Medicaid beds available.
If your brother is out of funds (which he must be if he's applying for Medicaid) then he won't be able to pay a live-in aid (and that's not always a good scenario either, if you get the wrong aid). Tell the facility that he's an unsafe discharge and to keep him until the application processes.
I know you love your brother but you won't be able to (and should not) be his solution. He has other solutions, you and he just need to accept it.