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She’s 86. Drives, sleeps, watches the news on volume 100, and polices every little thing going on. Laundry, dishes, the mail, etc. Talks about everyone in the house. Donates to 5-6 animal rescue organizations every month. Nags every person if they say they’ll do something until they just won’t out of spite. Eats nothing but junk food. Will ‘help’ her son, handicapped, but will show her frustration by shoving him or a deep heavy sigh. When I moved in (4 years ago) I brought 3 dogs. We lost one a few weeks ago. The 2 remaining bark at the notifications of the ring cameras. And they also will play chase the cats. 1 is a 70lb bulldog, the other is 120lb French mastiff. Sweet and gentle but protective. Bulldog barked at her coming in the sliding door (notification) and followed her maybe to see what she’d been doing. The weather has just changed here so she normally spends most of the day in her room, but today she trimmed some stuff in the yard. I’m watching as he’s walking next to her but a little behind. She stops, turns, and juts a pair of pruning shears at his face! Almost like stabbing motion! Horrified, I yelled Hey!!! And a bunch of obscenities about wtf was she doing??? She straight up denied it. ‘No I didn’t.’ Was her response when I asked my ex if he saw that? He saw it. This is the second time 2 people have seen her swat at, hit, or do some other form of aggression at that dogs face! Last time I had just as equal of a fit. She also denied that one. She tried to apologize to me but I shut it down by stating the fact that no one should ever have a reason to do that to any living being. Then I snarky asked if she donates to the animal rescues to feel better about how she treats them. I fumed for a couple hours. Then she called my name and asked if I knew where her summer clothes are in the basement. She prefaced by saying I know you don’t want to talk to me right now. No kidding! How about you ask someone else to get your clothes?! And what does it matter anyway? She wears the same long sleeve tops, sweatshirts and stretch pants everyday no matter what the weather. I’m still mad! Who knows what she does when I’m not home? And what if they retaliate? She weighs like 70lbs! I cannot understand her thought process at all. Is this a sign of dementia? I knew her as a teenager and never recall her being mean to anyone. Although, at Christmas I talked to my exes brother about her nastiness and he said oh I know! I used to live with her! I couldn’t go to college fast enough! So I don’t know! Any thoughts?

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You are living in the same house with your ex, your ex-mother-in-law, multiple cats and dogs, and MIL's handicapped son (is this your ex?). Are you all nuts? Why don't you move out?
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olddude May 16, 2024
Some people love it when their life is a living hell.
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I cannot fathom living in such an uncomfortable environment for everyone involved. Seems both sides aren’t happy. Someone needs to move
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Time for you to get your own home where you can relax, not listen to the tv blasting at volume 100, don't have to listen to someone complain incessantly or talk sh*t about everyone, and your dogs will be able to live in a safe and happy home.

You deserve this and your dogs do to. Move out. If you and your hubs are back together, even better to make a fresh start and get a new place.
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The bottom line is the dogs and the MIL should not be living in the same home. Sooner or later something bad is going to happen. This is the son's home, so I think it is up to him to decide who stays and who goes.
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Sskye2160 May 16, 2024
I agree but I certainly don’t want make him choose between his mom and me. There’s lots of other things between his mom and I. I’m shocked bc I used to spend so much time with her when we were dating and married and she was the sweetest person! It’s sad to see her decline if that’s what’s happening, or to see her for who she really is that she may have been hiding previously. I’m looking for another place right now.
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If you come on this forum and post a question where you're allowing a dog or cat to get even potentially harmed or threatened, you'll be torn to a bloody shred. #Fact

My nephew had 2 mastiffs for years. Even before he got married and had a daughter. They were sweet and loving, albeit slobbering and could easily knock a person over, never mind a 70 lb elder. Recently, the one dog starting viciously attacking the other dog, unprovoked, causing serious bite wounds that needed vet attention. My nephew thought it was a fluke, a one off. It wasn't. It happened again, right in front of his very young daughter where these 2 mastiffs nearly killed one another. They both had to be put down right away.

Your ex MIL sounds like she can indeed be going down the dementia highway. Her doctor needs to give her a full medical and cognitive workup. But she may be afraid of your large dogs and trying to protect herself from them. They CAN severely hurt or even kill her if they were to attack her after she provokes them with shears in the face. #Fact
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This is your EX-MIL? Why are you still living there????

While I am in no means defending her actions towards your animals, maybe she behaves this way because she wants you to leave, and this is cheaper than an eviction proceeding? Because if my son were to get married, move into my home with his wife and then get divorced, I wouldn't be thrilled with my ex-DIL still living in my home, especially if my son was still there as well!

You need to move out, like yesterday. For more reasons than I can even list!
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First.
I would not put up with a dog "playing chase" with my cat (or my dogs). The fact that they are VERY large dogs you need to control them, train them. (there was a large dog "play chase" with my mini doxie and the large dog landed on my dog and broke her tail. that was an expensive game of "chase")
Second.
YOU are living in HER home.
You need to respect that.
If you think there is even a slight chance that she would hit, threaten, harm your dogs in any way then you do not let them out unless you are WITH them.
If you think your dogs could "retaliate" you need to crate them when you are not there to supervise them. If they did "retaliate" there is no doubt that they would probably be put down by police.
Third.
You need to move.
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Sskye2160 May 16, 2024
Playing chase meaning the cats will peek around the corner at one of them and meow then run. This will cause the dog to drop everything and go to that spot. The cat is then waiting a little further and taunts the dog again. I swear it’s not mean in any way, they both enjoy it. They never growl hiss or lash out at each other. The problem is when one dog goes, the other follows and it’s a little bit of a chaotic noise. That’s what my MIL doesn’t like. If there was carpet she probably wouldn’t even notice, but they all slide around on the wood floor.
She lives with my ex. This is his house.
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Move out of her house.
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I have heard nothing in your op about dementia. I hear an old woman who’s legitimately fearful that animals bigger than her might hurt or kill her. Even you have brought up “what happens if they retaliate,” which means it’s a legitimate fear.

Mil was there before these dogs and you now, and you can’t just throw her out for your pets’ sake. Humans always come first.
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Sskye2160 May 16, 2024
I wanted to know if an early sign of dementia is being mean, nasty and outspoken and provoking dogs? They are not mean to her and she isn’t afraid of them. They’re kind and loving and gentle. But poke things at their face and idk, it’s too unpredictable.
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Skye, as long as there’s a 70 pound lady forced to live with 100 pound plus dogs who threaten her the law, the humane society and society will side with her, not you.
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NeedHelpWithMom May 17, 2024
Peggy,

I just posted the traits of the French mastiff.

This is not the type of dog that should be in a home with an elderly person.

If you research breeds of dogs suitable for seniors, a French mastiff isn’t on the list.

When I was researching French mastiff dogs, several law firm sites popped up in my google search.

I took the time to read a few incidents where French mastiffs have attacked others.

These dogs are able to cause serious injuries.

You are correct, the owner of the dog is held accountable for the damage caused by the dog. The dogs are ordered to be put down.
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