I come over everyday and care for my mother who has dementia and real bad short term memory. I do have caregivers that relieve me during the afternoon and graveyard. But this particular past week has been real hard because everyone has been getting sick and I have been covering their shifts. I have been spending over 12 hr days with her and yesterday it came to a head. She has been verbally abusive to me for no reason in the past but last night at about 7 pm I was locking the patio door and I turned around and she appeared behind me saying that I was going to be very sorry and that she was going to tell my older brother about me. I said nothing. She went to bed and when she gets this way she really scares me so I kenneled her dog and shut off TV and sat at kitchen table in dark til graveyard person arrived at 8 pm. I was too scared to make any sound that would set her off again. I'm scared and alone and don't know what to do.
My mom with dementia had bronchitis last year and was staying at my house and she turned into this scary zombie.. and I hate to say this but I also was uncomfortable being alone with her.
Both my parents have dementia and have seen any illness... especially an infection really change their behavior for the worse. So far once the infection or illness improves, their behavior has improved as well.
Nobody should have to be scared and alone like that.
((hugs))
I'd start with a medical exam. My husband's dementia symptoms always got worse with any kind of illness. He never had a uti, but a cough or constipation -- any change in his health -- could trigger new behaviors. And a uti can cause scary symptoms even in people who don't have dementia. So, a medical exam is first.
But if this is a progression of her dementia and getting an infection cleared up isn't going to improve things, then considering a different level of care for her might be best for her, and for you.
One thing I was thinking, maybe your Mother has an Urinary Tract Infection as that can cause an elder to act out. Let's hope it is something as simple as that.
Otherwise, Mom might need to be moved to Memory Care. Would she have enough to budget Assisted Living/Memory Care? Such places average around $7k per month.
If not, then Mom would need to go the Medicaid [which is different from Medicare] route, where Medicaid will help pay for all of your Mom's care in a nursing home. But please note, that Medicaid can plan a lien on Mom's house [if she owns it] to help pay for reimbursement of Medicaid's costs.