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By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment. You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
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Mostly Independent
Your loved one may not require home care or assisted living services at this time. However, continue to monitor their condition for changes and consider occasional in-home care services for help as needed.
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Last year it became apparent that Mom wasn't able to handle the commotion of so many people at the house, even though she loves having family around. She got very confused and needed constant reminders of what was going to happen next. We had already been buying precooked meals and filling in with sides which had worked for a number of years but we knew we needed to do something different going forward. Since we have family coming in from out of town and staying for several days, we decided to rent a local Air BnB which would not only be place to stay, but a place to have the dinner (and other gatherings for the weekend). At first Mom was hesitant but I could tell she was relieved that she didn't have to worry about many house guests and a dinner. Now she's completely on board with the idea, was excited to get her list of what she could make and seems much more relaxed. Her house is her "safe place" and it seems best not to upset the routine she has there. I'm not sure how well the Air BnB solution will work but I'm hoping it might be the new family tradition and everyone will be happy with it!
Quilting, how sweet that your parents still wants to continue what sounds like a family tradition. How many usually come to your parent's Thanksgiving Dinner? Could it be pot-luck with each family bringing something to eat?
Could you go to Mom's house and help her with the turkey and maybe a couple side dishes? I realized that is easier said then done.
I know it took some doing to have my parents come to my house, since I hate cooking :P But once the grocery stores started to offer dinners already cooked, it did make it much easier. My Mom offered to do the sweet potatoes at her home and bring them over, so I let her do that, even in her mid 90's she wanted to do something. Dad brought along a bottle of wine.
Are your parents able to get the house, itself, ready for guest? Is cleaning an issue? If so, would Mom accept an one day cleaning service to come in? If cleaning is an issue, I can see having the family dinner elsewhere.
My parents eye-sight had failed so I didn't need to get the house ready like Better Homes and Garden was going to come in and take pictures !!
When my Mom couldn't stand long periods of time we began to help more and more. She was at first able to make the sides, then it got down to one side, and then eventually we did all the cooking in her home, set the table etc. What really helped was a pre-cooked turkey breast ordered from the local grocery...all we needed to do was heat it up. It is ok to take short cuts, and have the grocery provide some pre-cooked items. That was a tremendous help to us.
freqflyer is correct - that is the solution we had when my mother was showing signs of dementia. we decided she needed to host New Year's Eve and we all brought something to the mix. we called each other and decided on what and who would bring what and it was a fun time. we even brought disposable plates, cups & utensils and we helped mom to clean up.
sometimes taking away their ability to 'host' has some nasty repercussions. you don't want your parents to feel useless. all it takes is a suggestion, "let us each bring something to the table."
Elderly folks, even those without dementia, tend to view themselves as younger and capable - even when they know that they are no longer "there" now.
I suspect that your folks are more interested in continuing the "family tradition" than doing the actual cooking. So, either invite them over to your place - or reserve a private room at a restaurant and pay somebody else to cook.
I am with others on this situation. Go to mom and dads. Talk to them about what they want to do with the idea that this will be some part potluck. Tell them that just getting everything clean and set up is enough. There is probably something that mom cooked better than anyone else. Beg her to do that item, everyone else can supply the rest or whole meals can be purchased at grocery stores. A Ham, a turkey and other meat can be selected.
The last time Momma made her wonderful pumpkin pie she forgot the sugar - so be prepared that her item might not be as wonderful as in the past. The most important thing is that they feel like they are contributing to their family and that you are all together. When they are gone, knowing you went the distance for them will bring you comfort instead of regret.
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
Could you go to Mom's house and help her with the turkey and maybe a couple side dishes? I realized that is easier said then done.
I know it took some doing to have my parents come to my house, since I hate cooking :P But once the grocery stores started to offer dinners already cooked, it did make it much easier. My Mom offered to do the sweet potatoes at her home and bring them over, so I let her do that, even in her mid 90's she wanted to do something. Dad brought along a bottle of wine.
Are your parents able to get the house, itself, ready for guest? Is cleaning an issue? If so, would Mom accept an one day cleaning service to come in? If cleaning is an issue, I can see having the family dinner elsewhere.
My parents eye-sight had failed so I didn't need to get the house ready like Better Homes and Garden was going to come in and take pictures !!
sometimes taking away their ability to 'host' has some nasty repercussions. you don't want your parents to feel useless. all it takes is a suggestion, "let us each bring something to the table."
I suspect that your folks are more interested in continuing the "family tradition" than doing the actual cooking. So, either invite them over to your place - or reserve a private room at a restaurant and pay somebody else to cook.
The last time Momma made her wonderful pumpkin pie she forgot the sugar - so be prepared that her item might not be as wonderful as in the past. The most important thing is that they feel like they are contributing to their family and that you are all together. When they are gone, knowing you went the distance for them will bring you comfort instead of regret.
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