Good morning,
Well, back in February 2025 I posted that my mother, diagnosed with a possible meningioma, had a grand mal seizure. I really thought that was it, but she surprised everyone by making somewhat of a comeback.
In between, she had two outside appointments, one with the neurologist that I tried to set up back in October when all of this happened, and another with a neurosurgeon colleague of his.
The neurologist was an absolute ***hole, berating me why she didn't get a second opinion (thus his referral to the neurosurgeon), and even said, "It's benign, they can operate." (!!!).
At least he put her on Keppra to control the seizures. She hasn't had any seizure activity since then, thankfully.
The neurosurgeon appointment at least had value, he was very kind and I was able to see her latest MRI for the first time. The upshot is the same, there will be NO surgery!! He did say that he doesn't think it's benign, it's behaving much more aggressively, and he suspects she will not make it even a year.
In the meantime, she loves where she is, and I remain baffled as to how someone who implored with me never to put her in a nursing home, is so happy now that she is one! It does give me peace of mind that she is being well cared for.
Lately, in the last two weeks, some troublesome things have happened. My sister, who visits with her for a few minutes before she goes to work, reported that twice she said to her, "Tell me about the funeral." When my sister asked what funeral, she answered, "Mine."
A few days ago, she told my sister she was afraid to go in the coffin.
Just around that time, she started making more sense when talking, and has been regaining her mobility. She even was able to ask the nurse to make a call to my sister, when she wasn't able to a few months ago.
She has also talked about leaving there and has tried to pack a bag.
What I'm wondering, and I realize nobody can know this, is this the beginning of her decline? I understand something called terminal lucidity/paradoxical lucidity, where it appears someone with an end of life diagnosis suddenly seems to improve, but this usually precedes their rapid decline : (
Talk to her about her wishes. My aunt and mother talked with me about the end was coming. One was perfectly lucid and one had dementia. That one broke through her short term memory asking if she would ever get better. If you do not know what to say, then listen snd ask more questions.
I am so sorry for the diagnosis and the short time she has left. You are indeed lucky that she is in care and you can just be her advocate and loving daughter.
May The Lord give you strength, guidance and peace during this difficult time.
Your mom likely didn't know about modern SNFs and their bright sunny rooms, music entertainments, aides with special training to deal with the sick and elderly, and visiting pups from the residents' relatives, who are invited to visit their LOs any time, 24/7.
I'm glad your mom found herself in a place that she likes, and I wish you both luck on this difficult journey. She's lucky to have you in her corner.
The brain is so complex. You have a known diagnosis and a given prognosis here, and what you know is that the tumor, malignant or benign, is not operable and is aggressively growing.
I think that it is anyone's guess now what centers will be hit by any tendrils growing in this tumor. I think that things will now depend upon what centers are involved with tumor growth, and whether those centers in the lower brain, crucial to balance, temperature, blood pressure, respirations--those centers crucial to life itself or whether it hits areas involved in emotions and so on.
What a relief meanwhile that she likes the place she is and you are happy with their care. I experienced this with my brother's ALF, and what a great blessing that is! Sure do thank you for your update here, as I well remember your other posts to us. I am wishing good luck and hope you'll continue to update us.