She's healthy other than the severe memory loss and hypertension. She always told me she was part of the "Hemlock Society" but never filled out any paperwork. She is stuck in a body that moves with a mind that is completely gone. It's so awful just seeing the opposite of what she wanted to happen to her, and now she just exists everyday. They get her up, feed her, change her and that's it. We can euthanize animals, but this- she would never want to be this way. Neither would I! What do I do with her now? How do I legally prevent my family placing me in a home when/if I ever get this bad of dementia? I would not want to live like this. Neither would she but here we are. :( Very heartbreaking end of an extraordinary life.
I found out that my mom and dad had a suicide pact and they were also part of the Hemlock Society. He determined that she was not ready and he took his own life alone. I am absolutely sure he did the right thing for her. For himself I'm still not sure it was the only way out of his pain. I just wish I'd known how bad it was for him and how I could have helped him. But I also realize that my feelings are from my own point of view, not his.
Mostly, I just want to say that love is what you continue to give your mom, no matter who she has become, and love is a very good thing that you have to hold onto. Take care of yourself!
Nobody wants dementia, or to live in such a condition, let's face it. But if dementia strikes, my mother was pretty well off in Memory Care Assisted Living with her "girls", her activities, the garden, the bus trips, the snacks I brought her, etc. No, it's no way to live and wait to die, and I wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy, but oftentimes we don't get a choice in what life doles out to us. So we either make the best of it or we off ourselves. #Truth. We don't choose to burden our loved ones with our care and management 24/7, that's for sure!
I'm sorry you're watching your mom die. I know how it feels, and I prayed for God to take my mother every day for 2 years. He did, finally, at 95 years old, after she'd suffered a lot of angst, along with ME, too. Nobody wins with dementia, we all lose.
Good luck to you.
I watched my children take there first steps with so much joy and happiness.
Now I'm watching my mom taking her last steps.
Every decline is another emotional torture to have to accept the way things are
Took my mom for most likely the last time to the plant nursery a few weeks ago. Not going to do that again, the ground is too uneven there, which is are yearly thing to do. Now it's more rides in the car.
Your not alone, sadly this is life. We all have to go . Just spend time with your mom and try making it happy experiences
Best of luck, I'm so sorry
You cannot control this, nobody can. All you can do is make sure your loved one has what they need until the end. All the best to you.
If I am fortunate enough to get a terminal disease instead of dying in slo motion of advanced old age I will avail myself of MAID in California.
And what you do with your mother now is just enjoy best you can whatever time you may have left with her.
She is still in there somewhere and she deserves to be treated with dignity despite her broken brain.
And I know that you say that you don't want to end up in a care facility if you were to develop dementia, but like your mother, there often comes a point when the care of a dementia patient just gets to be too much for family members to handle at home, and placement is the only option.
Make sure that you have your POLST or MOST forms filled out and signed and that your family knows that you don't want any extreme measures taken to keep you alive if and when the time comes.
I wish you the very best as you take this very difficult and final journey with your mother.