My parents agreed to pay me for being live-in caregiver. Advised not to inform siblings. Can greedy siblings sue me for any reason?

SAN FRANCISCO, June 16, 2015 /PRNewswire-USNewswire/ -- California Labor Commissioner Julie A. Su awarded $138,386 in back pay to a caregiver who worked 16-hour days in San Francisco for less than minimum wage, usually without a day off. The amount includes minimum wage and severance pay violations, liquidated damages and waiting time penalties.
Francisca Vasquez, a Salvadoran war refugee, was hired in 1992 by siblings Magdalena Lindvall and Reynaldo Peña Jr. to work as a companion for their elderly parents for $400 a month. Eventually Vasquez became a housekeeper and then round-the-clock caregiver to their mother for $500 a month. Upon the mother's death, Vasquez was discharged.
"Workers are not always aware of their rights," said Christine Baker, Director of the Department of Industrial Relations (DIR). "California labor law protects domestic workers as well as others who work in industries susceptible to wage theft." The Labor Commissioner's Office, also known as the Division of Labor Standards Enforcement (DLSE), is a division within DIR.
Because Vasquez filed her claim two years into the three year statute of limitation for minimum wage claims, she could only collect wages on the last year she worked.
"This was an egregious case of worker abuse, where someone providing care was treated with an utter lack of care for her rights and for her humanity," said Labor Commissioner Julie A. Su. "I am pleased that through the Berman wage claim process, my office was able to help her get some of the hard earned wages she deserved. This is a sign that when workers come forward to file wage claims, they can win some measure of justice."
The Labor Commissioner awarded her $50,008 for wages, $48,209 in liquidated damages, $35,707 in interest, and $4,464 in penalties. 
Vasquez was assisted in the wage claim process by the community organization Mujeres Unidas y Activas and the Legal Aid Society–Employment Law Center.

Family secrets are not good. Everything should be above board. You should be their POA. You should pay taxes on the income you make wherever you work.
Perhaps an elder care attorney can help you.

Are your parents of sound mind? If so then definitely get it in writing & notarized! WHO is the financial POA for your parents? If it’s one of your hateful siblings then I fear you’ve got a problem! Again Record the money paid to you! How’s it’s spent.
I had a fight with a sibling that was financial POA. The thing that saved me is that I was setting up Medicaid for my Mom. Therefore I had a social worker on my side to inform me of my rights & to help me in the event my sister tried to fight me on money issues! I feel for you. 2 major battles!
Caregiving your parents & having to ward off your siblings!
GodSpeed.

First, Do your parents have Medicaid for Managed Long Term Care or are they interested in obtaining Medicaid? If so, you shoukd have them do the CDPAP and choose you for their homehealth aid, and then you will be directly paid by meficaid. You should also consider letting them write and sign a lpersonal cate agteement letter stating that they have offered to pay you for the care you are providing and put the amount they are giving you now or any lumpsum amount they are promising to compensate you for the wirk that you're doing.
If your parents do have medicaid and own the house that they are living in which is also where you reside, when your parents pass on, the house will not be subject to Medicaid Estate Recovery Program (MERP), if you are still residing in the home--because you would have been taking care of your parents for over two years.

Helpjng to care for your elderly parents us a great thing.

K. Francis-Berry

I think your parents should want your other siblings to know that they have a will, POA, HCPOA, and that your being in their home 24/7 is part of this.  You are not making these decisions, they are, as they should while they are still able.  Also, if there is an inheritance for them, it is not tied to your caregiving. If there are any questions, they should be happy to answer them - it's their care and their money.  My folks also put a line in the will that if anyone would contest it, they would be stricken as a beneficiary.

Make sure your Parents get everything in Order to make you POA so No Problem and to Stipulate who gets What.....Othe rthan that, if No liiving Trust is Appointed while thy were Alive, Probate will Kick in and the Monies later Disbursed to he Siblings plus Yourself.

Did you obtain POA for both parents?

While your parents are alive,they can give their money or belongings to anyone they wish.Keep reciepts,and perhaps have something written up and notorized
for later on,.sounds like they're going to attack later on (the siblings)
If you're helping,..you need to get money somehow..it is a high stress duty, and totally inter ups life...can't go to work as usual.Get some sort of written agreement from the parents.Been there done that :/

Try to find a certified elder law attorney with a flat rate for a consultation and honestly share your concerns; they should advise you as to the best steps to take to protect yourself. Don't forget at a minimum your assistance is worth no less than $20/hr. My elder father is of the generation that family does for family and I am okay with that, but he wanted no part of a caregiver agreement when an attorney brought it up and his intention is to have the estate split evenly between my sister (who lives in FL for the past 17+ years and does nothing re to caregiving) and myself who is under the same roof (willingly and needing to for financial reasons) but available 24/7 and doing SO much. There is a caregiver exception rule where medicaid can't take the house if an adult child has provided care for I think it's 2 years. Surprisingly I worried (and still harbor concern) about my sister kicking me out to get her half of the house proceeds...so I keep a short diary and try to document the amount of time. She sort of thought the house was going to be left to me (guilt talking?). With your brother being a pro, you just need to be sure you're doing everything right. You'll feel better once you lay it all out and get it dealt with.

Are you the power of attorney for both parents? Better get those forms for each parent signed and notarized at your bank and keep those forms in a lockbox at your bank. Then ask a lawyer how to handle your "employment". I was a live-in caregiver for my mother who has dementia for 4 years. I received $200 a month from my POA younger sister. I also was able to get my social security disability and get a monthly check from Uncle Sam. You can talk to the Social Security administration and IRS about all this-- there may be a threshold where you do not have to pay anything in taxes, while working with your own family.
You do not have to answer anything that is harassing from your sibs-- tell them they may not bother your parents either -- best you can do-- ignore them.

Contact an elder-attorney. Start here:

National Academy of Elder Law Attorneys
https://www.naela.org/findlawyer
naela@naela.org
NAELA Council of Advanced Practitioners
1577 Spring Hill Rd., Suite 310
Vienna, VA 22182 
703-942-5711
naela@naela.org

Personal recommendation in Colorado:

M. Carl Glatstein
Glatstein & O'Brien LLP

I wouldn't think since you are their caregiver that your siblings would have anything to say about your parents paying you. So you do all the work and they sue you? That's really wrong. In any case, I agree you should consult an attorney.

I would go and see an Elder Law attorney. They know how to plan this and how to protect both you and your parents.

I can't seem to locate the table I found for a different thread asking about getting paid, but the IRS does have different rules/limits for family care-givers vs outside hired help. The following link does indicate that your parent(s) should be reporting the "income" on a W2, minimal as it may be (see below regarding Enrolled Agent, they may be able to help with this):

https://www.irs.gov/businesses/small-businesses-self-employed/family-caregivers-and-self-employment-tax

"If the caregiver employee is a family member, the employer may not owe employment taxes even though the employer needs to report the caregiver's compensation on a Form W-2."

You replied to someone:
"My parents have signed an informal agreement (piece of paper noting monthly stipend to be paid) but it was not notarized. I'm thinking that will need to be re-done and notarized? Official documents drawn up by an attorney??"

Absolutely!!! Run, don't walk, to a qualified Elder Care attorney and get any/all documentation done asap. POAs, MPOAs, wills, trusts, AND a properly done LEGAL care-giver agreement. Hopefully they are still cognitively okay, so this can be done. IF not, EC attorney would be the place to start to deal with all of this. I might also inquire as to whether any of the parents' assets can be used to cover legal costs if your siblings decide to be d*cks.

We have all heard/read the nightmare stories about siblings on this forum!  Although my brothers haven't really helped much through the whole ordeal (long story), at this point they don't hassle me either. Hopefully it will remain that way, even after mom passes. Two of us have POA and are on her account (only me on the special SS rep payee account), but I manage everything. We are all on the trust, but funds are used to pay her "rent' and taxes, plus any extras she needs. Either of them questions anything or makes a stink, they will get both barrels (no guns involved!) Although I did most of the help for the last few years when she was still in her condo, none of us provide the hands-on since moving her to MC. However I get all the running around, juggling finances, mucho time spent dealing with getting condo ready for sale AND the tax implications after the fact, getting incidentals needed, phone calls, visiting, making appointments (taking recently shifted to YB as mom isn't stable physically and I can't support her weight), med management (we buy/provide, which is WAY cheaper on her plans), keeping track of everything while they "skate." How's about a skate blade up the wazoo boys??? They'd best not mess with me!!!

Also keep good records for anything spent, whether for regular bills, insurance, grocery and other needs, repairs to the home, etc. If they ever need Medicaid, you will need these records. If your siblings turn out to be like many we read about on this forum, you will need it for them too! In addition, document what each parent's current medical status is AND what actual care you provide - details!!! Update as needed.

A good EC attorney might be able to advise you on the tax implications of any money your parents give to you, but a VERY good better source would be an Enrolled Agent - well qualified tax preparer (NEVER use those like HR Blockheads - they really REALLY Fd up mom's!) For reading about them, see:

https://www.communitytax.com/irs-enrolled-agent/

You can do a look up online, specifying your state. Alternatively, the following provides a number to call or a search tool you can use:

https://www.naea.org/find-ea-0

I found a local one to do mom's taxes after her move to MC, to cover all the tax issues. He is awesome, generally answers all questions that might arise and was no more expensive than the HR Blockheads, plus KNOWS all his stuff and wouldn't make the mistakes some blow-by-night place does!

I agree with most of what has been suggested. You need to see an Elder Law Attorney and have them draw up a Caregiver Contract. This will not only protect you but will protect your parents. If down the road your parents would need to file for Medicaid this caregiver contract will save you. Medicaid goes back five years and looks for any transfer of assets. The money they are paying you could be considered a "transfer of assets." If you have a caregiver contract this will keep the money your parents give you for your services from being considered a 'transfer of assets."

My father and I went to an elder care attorney who wrote up a proper legal document. Then I downloaded a time keeping app to my computer and every day I wrote down exactly what I did and during what time. I was paid an hourly rate.

No one questioned it because everything was on the “up and up“

I strongly suggest you do the same. You can never go wrong doing the right thing. Hope this is helpful to you.

Something I haven't seen addressed here - Renoir, you say you have been taking care of your parents for four years. What is the nature of their disabilities? If it is mental, you are going to have a hard time getting them to sign anything that will hold up in court. If you are already DPOA, keep excellent records of all spenditures. I went so far as to send quarterly reports to my siblings (I have 6) where they could see the money was being spent appropriately.

"Advised" not to tell your siblings? By whom? Do your parents still have capacity to make their own medical and financial decisions? Lack of transparency is a recipe for disaster. You've gotten a lot of good advice here but in my view support for secrecy is misguided. Your sibs are involved, whether you like it or not. You don't have to like them, approve of their lifestyle or living choices. They don't have to like yours. Maybe they are greedy. Maybe they are hardworking in other ways, or involved in the care of in-laws. Maybe you are the "favorite" and your parents really want you involved and not them. Maybe you just can't work elsewhere for other reasons and are available to do this work. I'm sure there is long history and deep family dynamics there that no one on this forum is in a particularly good position to judge. It would be great if you and your sibs could talk about those things openly, but I realize in some families (like mine!) such discussions are difficult if not impossible. But if you are taking and spending your parents' money and not being open about it - even if it is all for them and above board - you could be accused financial elder abuse. There are elder laws for a reason and caregivers have an extra burden of accountability. You would be wise to be open, create clear documentation of the services you are providing and involve your sibs in any formal work with an elder lawyer that involves your parents' planning documents. Honestly no beneficiaries should be involved in that work, but if one is they all should be. Of course you should be paid (and taxed as appropriate) for any service rendered, and at a market rate that is also documented. But that should be clear for your protection, your social security and to avoid problems with Medicaid look back down the road if your parents need it.

Good luck.

Renoir, in case you don’t see my reply to the question you asked last night about your parents written agreement— yes I would absolutely have an attorney look over the written agreement and re-write it “officially”. The attorney will likely have his notary notorize it when you & your parents sign the agreement. Good luck.

To avoid any accusations of wrong doing you would be wise to get a caregiver contract in place. This should address what you are responsible for doing, your time off, what it includes ie pay, housing, food, use of vehicles etc.
This should be ran through a payroll agency, it does a couple of things, it protects you from accusations and it ensures that all is legal, it also contributes to your social security which will affect your benefits when you "retire".

I would have an attorney draw it up and ask them about clarifying that this is sole and separate from any inheritance. If your parents have a will your siblings cannot arbitrarily change it and say you got part of yours early, unless the will addresses that loans will come out of your portion. I understand that your pay is not a loan, but without a caregiver contract your siblings can claim that it is.

Are you the POA as well as the caregiver? Do your parents have a will and other end of life documents? If not, now is a really good time to get all of that in place. I don't think I would be a caregiver without POA, all responsibility and no authority doesn't sit well and quite frankly if you can't trust me to carry out your wishes in the event that you can't, then I can't be trusted to wipe your bum. 24/7 is too much to ask of 1 person, however, if you are willing and it is working for everyone insisting that they protect you against your siblings is only fair.

Please let us know how you handle this.

ACaringDaughter: "Make sure your pay it is equal to or less than the local standard pay."

And I'd add to not shortchange yourself. Use the agency rate, not an under-the-table worker.

I got $20/hour to take my mother places and any additional stuff. I got no mileage money -- it was all for my time. If she'd ever agreed to hire help, it would have been from an agency, as we did not want to expose her entire trust to some kind of liability claim.

If you’re her caregiver & lived in at least 2 years, then the house is exempt from Medicaid penalties. Please see Elder Atty. Try to get Mom into ALF. Hugs 🤗

Check on Medicaid rules regarding asset exemption of the home for family caregivers that provide medically necessary care for a period of two years prior to parents move to a nursing home.

Another question on the list for the elder law attorney. Make sure they are well versed in Medicaid.

Aren't siblings great? We just took our mother to the ER Monday; she's in a temporary nursing home right now, and we need to find long-term memory/nursing care after a sudden nightmare illness caused complete incontinence, the inability or desire to feed herself, and complicated delusions. So immediately after we discuss a DNR for our mother my older brother announces that he expects us to pay back every penny we borrowed from Mom, pay rent, or get out. Since we couldn't work AND take care of her, my younger brother and I are lacking in funds. Since we need to fix up the house to rent or sell it, we kind of have to stay here to do the work. And since our older brother thinks we're lazy, irresponsible, and spending our mother's money wildly (on food, electricity, cable, water, prescriptions, etc.) and don't actually do anything, he thinks he's doing the right thing. Maybe we should bill him for our time... I think anyone who tries to sue a caregiver should have to spend a week as a caregiver first.

It is unfortunate when siblings become enemies. I have been there. You should come up with a few hundred dollars to speak with an attorney and get some advice to protect yourself. You might want to do research with the IRS to find out if you need to claim the amount. Do not feel guilty for fighting to protect yourself on any actions by your siblings that are not comfortable or ethical for you.

Afterthoughts. You have lots of good advice and support from caregivers here. It is amazing how many people are in the same boat. If I could offer a couple additional suggestions to my previous post. To ease the load on you, contact as many of your parent's billers, power, water, garbage, etc. and have them set up to charge one credit card. This not only keeps an east access to records, it relieves you of opening and paying their bills. If something goes wrong, no worries, the bills are still getting paid. Of course you have to make a card payment every month.
Suggestion two. Get a safe for all small valuables, jewelry, watches, etc. Take photos of what you put in there.
Suggestion three. Try to find an arbitrator or mediator who can work with all of you. The cost of maybe $2K is well worth avoiding a lawsuit, and should you ever end up in court, the mediator's work will become invaluable. Siblings don't wish to have a mediator/arbitrator? Make a record of that, preferably by email , as that could come in handy in court.
Presunably your parents have a trust or living trust? Very important for everyone.
Here is another thought that I just went through. Are you yourself an elder, say over 65? If so, contact your local government elder abuse department and make a report of your siblings harrasing you! I did that and it really flipped a switch in my favor. Use the term 'bullying."
I am going through a similar situation. it is horrible. in a time when you need support, your siblings are attacking you. Tell that to your parents. Have your parents write your siblings to knock it off. That is providing your folks are competent.
I wrote my siblings that don't recall my parents ever hiring a lawyer for anything. That they were of the greatest generation. This newer generation, baby boomers whatever, especially when you get spouses involved, is entirely different. Greed is pervasive.
My problem like you, is my parents, and few do, never realized there would be friction down the road between siblings. Not addressing that in some contractural form, or making plans for their own future, has caused the problem. If they are till mentally okay, try to get them in to see an elder care or trust lawyer to address all this.

Lot of good warnings in the answers below. Essentially you have to sit down with an elder lawyer and review all documents that have been down up. You need to be power of attorney POA, and have health directive authority. You need an employment contract with your parents. YOU need to decide if this is agreement is best for YOU.

Do contact acaringdaughter, you are perfectly entitled to be paid, not just your parents wanting to do something for you, but good idea to get the right paperwork now.

I was sued by 2 of my five siblings. Send me a personal message and I will help you through this time. (I completely won all the lawsuits and they filed more than one). I am so happy I chose not to settle!!

Like you, I also saw the legal trouble coming because the two began trying to organize and align even distant family against me while my mother was still alive.

None of them helped me with my parents’ care. I took no pay, but did have help from hired CNAs- what amazing angels! (They will forevermore be my new siblings!). If you are caretaking 24/7, make sure to hire some help and give yourself breaks. You will need it.

The long and short answer is, yes, siblings will sue (and can sue) for any reason. There is nothing you can do to prevent a lawsuit, only things that you can do to protect yourself now in the event that you are sued in the future.

Keep pristine records. I know this is tough while caretaking. I wish I would have kept better records. I had to pay expert accountants to organize everything but it would have been worth the time to keep a notebook in my car console and record notes after each and every transaction. I had to do this after the fact and had a sleepless weekend over one big transaction that I couldn’t remember (on Monday, when the bank was open it was easily solved).

if your parent(s) are able to sign a contract, hire a lawyer to prepare an employment agreement for your parent(s)’ signature. If you have any supportive siblings, have them sign also.

Make sure your pay it is equal to or less than the local standard pay. Research and retain records “real time” which capture that information. (If your parents want to pay you more than the going rate, refuse).

Hire a payroll company to pay you, withhold, etc. This will be worth the small added cost. Never take any payment in cash.

Keep all funds completely separate. Do not pay for things with your credit card and then reimburse yourself with your parents’ check. Drive back home to get their checkbook instead. (It’s even better to have a different sibling handle the banking, if you have a good sibling).

File away notes, emails and threats from your siblings. (I had some “great ones!” — Extremely painful at the time, but absolutely wonderful in the legal proceedings.

If they scream at you, record them with your phone. They will deny what they said later.

You will be okay. Protect yourself and your parents! Do not let them bully you! You can do this!

See an eldercare attorney and draw up a caregiver's contract so your parents will be your employer. With this contract, your siblings cannot sue you. You will have to pay taxes whether it be one lump sum for lifetime care OR monthly payment--see a tax specialist to set up a "corporate tax" naming you are the corporation so you get more tax breaks. Make certain you are made Power of Attorney (POA); if your parents are still with it they can name you as POA. Your eldercare attorney can also do a "lady bird quick deed" so when your folks die the house automatically goes to you without probate. You should also be added to your folk's bank account. Do all of this before your folks deteriorate; otherwise if they are not "with it" it will require a Court order to name a legal guardian and that's a mess.