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Before my Mom developed dimentia, I worked with her to bring the household bookkeeping into the modern era (online banking, bill payments, record keeping etc.). As she lost capacity, my Dad shifted the responsibility for stewarding household finances to me. Since he was my Mom's POA, still with decision fulfilled his fiduciary trust through this delegation. As long as he devision-making capacity he could have always called on this sister, "substitute" POA to work in partnership with me or take-over, he didn't because the continuity allowed him to track his money as always, and because I had a firsthand interest in making sure bills were paid, home up-keep, and assets protected. Ultimately, when he as well as my mother could live home without round the clock care, (since the Pandemic) everything from cooking, cleaning, home maintenance, personal hygiene fell to me (free) ...keeping them (91) from outliving their money in their own home. As I always expected when Dad lost capacity my sister would attempt to seize control, I kept financial records to withstand forensic audit. Somehow, she managed to convince the bank not only to get access to bank accounts but violate my account ownership rights, and control over my SSDI. She then used her POA, to diactive IDs, passwords and authorizations so I could at least have some oversight. Only through late notices, collection calls, threats of legal action, I've been able to confirm insurance policy cancellations, unpaid taxes, mounting late fees, interest & penalties, misuse of credit cards, ...i dread thinking of what I would. find with access to the bank accounts she moved our assets to that she has sole control.



I have hired Attorneys to help me but this is not a typical estate squabble. Her POA did not extend authority to harm a third party, even if I'm a sibling. It is clear she iwants to drive me out of the house, but my means and credit have been so damaged I've never been in a worse position to find affordable, independent housing.



Let me also mention, that since she seized accounts, my sister planted a live-in care giver here, but the two person job it's become, I am still the person that my parents daily wellbeing depends....without compensation.



Given that I have to borrow the money for legal defense fees, I need advice as to prioritize what's worth paying attorneys for.



PS: I reached out to the attorney that drew up my parents estate documents in 2020 to help my parents "update" them to reflect their actual choices and protect me. He blew me off. I have every reason to believe he supplied support documents to convince bank to go along with this.

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When I first started receiving SSDI, my Mom was my Payee. She designated an "unused" Checking Account exclusively for my SSDI deposits, which can be verified as mine through year-end tax statements (not included in my parents" taxable income. ). Bu the time I no longer needed a payee, my Mom, was losing executive function. My Dad was an obsessive stickler over bottom line condition of his accounts...but all the book, record-keeping, administrative tasks to keep that way, he never had a clue. Plus, even though he still had reasoning capacity, he was not up to mastering new skills like online banking and was also hard of hearing. More than once, one or another of these accounts were violated (sometimes due to information my Mother gave to prefatory callers)...they would have been wiped out, if. not for my vigilant oversight. In fact it was a zell breach, which I caught that required us to close and reopen a mirror of same 6 accounts with new numbers, when Branch Officers insisted they could no longer look the other way ... names on the account be "corrected" to include all three us. The change was hardly forced on my parents...Especially my Dad welcomed because it allowed him to extend the time he could retain access to make his own banking decisions, "securely.". Plus my SSDI gave more disposable income to the household, without adding to my parents' taxable income.

One thing I have learned that generally most lawyers are not even aware..The Dept of Treasury does not recognize either POA or Names on Bank Accounts as conferring rights over another persons public benefits. Even in case of my parents, my Sister is supposed to apply for Representative Payee Appointment. A small technicality becomes "theft of public benefits" if she spends, transfers, confiscates any part of those deposits. That also goes for residual deposits in old accounts when my Mom was my payee ..,which she transferred directly into accounts she alone had access to before she closed.

Also, when my sister did this she knew she had no clue what was involved ...what needs to be paid, when...direct deposits, debts, taxes, insurance but it was more important for her to get control rather than humbling herself to admit I was the only one that "teach" her how to be a responsible fiduciary. 6!months later, that's still the case,,.as insurance policies get cancelled, law suits being threatened, interest and penalties mounting. .... Obssessive, paranoid, stickler my Dad was (not do to age) he made my life a living hell to give him peace of mind over his money. The overall state of their finances were consistent and more trackable than when my Mom's checkbook register and paper bank statements were the audit trail. All of that (and work it took) destroyed. Whose going to have to pay for Mom's funeral because my sister doesn't think she's accountable for anything.
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"to work in partnership" with you--does that mean you and your sister are listed as "jointly" on the POA?

Was your name also on all of your parents' bills? is that how your credit got affected?

If you haven't done so already, open a different bank account elsewhere, contact SSA and provide them with your new routing number.

It's terrible what your sister is doing to you. I, too, have a greedy sibling who believes she is entitled to everything while remaining uninvolved in parents' care. Unfortunately, if your parents didn't list you as 1st alternate agent after your father, and gave POA to your sister instead, this sounds like a challenge to sift through and reverse the damage done to your credit.

There's a website called avvo where attorneys answer all types of legal questions. Might want to try that route and get feedback from legal experts? Good luck, I hope everything works out for you.
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What is the reason you didn’t have your own bank account and deposit your own money in it?
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If she was able to get to your SSD, did u co-mingle your money with your parents? Your SSD should have been in a separate account. Now your going to have to prove the money in their acct is yours. I hope you now have ur payment going to another acct.

So sorry ur going thru this.
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