My Father has rapidly declined in health in the past 7 weeks. 30 plus years of drinking has bought him a damaged liver and a 7cm something on his spleen. Recently we took him to the ED because he hadn’t eaten in two weeks. He was admitted for three days to get his sodium levels up. He is home but is unable to get up on his own. He has very little control of his feet and his arms are weak and shaky.
I recently learned his mother passed at my fathers age and had ALS along with Alzheimer’s. My fathers rapid decline is a big sign he may have ALS. His memory is really not all there as he tends to lose track of time, repeats conversations and brings up the past a lot. He refuses to use the walker to get around. We argue about him getting assistance to the toilet and he says he has to do it on his own. He then agrees for help but forgets that in 10 minutes time.
My mother has COPD but is being treated as it is asthma. She gets winded and is 73 years old. Now my father has lost like 50 pounds in the last year as well and is skinny.
He has fallen twice and had lots of bathroom accidents just in one day. He currently needs around the clock supervision and care. I do have a dual POA on my dad. I do not know what to do or who to call at this point. We are all so very exhausted.
So, do ask for hospice. They will evaluate, and most likely accept him as a hospice. just know, they will keep him with hospice for 30 days or so, and then reevaluate as need be... It is okay.
Hospice is there to help the patient and the family out in this time of need... to make the transition to death peaceful.
My LO with liver cancer did not go on hospice, and I talked with him all night long.. I had to pull his futon out from the other room and place it on the floor next to the bed.... any movement on the bed sent pain... but he didn't want to be alone... He wasn't....
Every death has been a bit different... just wish it could be peaceful everytime.. and, it's not just humans it's all our family - furry ones included....
Just get hospice, another pair of eyes t keep you sane...they will call in a chaplain, or whoever you want... they will sit with you and talk with you in person or on phone...they will be there to listen, talk, and pray, whatever it takes.
it s okay.. Just make sure your LO knows they are loved, and it is okay to transition over when the time comes...
Liver disease that includes the spleen is likely very advanced, it may be time to do some research on that. I have to assume that at some point a doctor explained the options to your parents and they made a choice in that regard?
It may be time to ask for a hospice evaluation, from there you will need to consider whether continuing to care for him at home is possible.
Can your parents afford to pay for an in home caregiver?
Your family is your first priority. They will require more and more care. Start looking for suitable care now.
If need be, speak to a social worker to help assist in this process.
Are they on Medicaid or Medicare? If Medicaid, have you considered a suitable nursing home for them?
Best wishes to you and your family.
Thank you so much..