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By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment. You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
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Mostly Independent
Your loved one may not require home care or assisted living services at this time. However, continue to monitor their condition for changes and consider occasional in-home care services for help as needed.
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I agree with castoff, but my mother has been helpless and self-centered for as long as I can remember. I believe basic character and personality traits are amplified as they become elderly. I have met 90 year old women who were independent, cared about other people besides themselves, or asked how other people were doing once in a while, but I am not related to one. Just remember: however they were before, they get worse.
There is a real loss of self reliance & independance, but some of it can be an act also. Some folks think they are clever & want to play the poor me card. I hope this isn't the case for you, but my mother has been sucking the life out of me for 15 yrs. and plays the helpless waif on a regular basis.....beware.
Leslee-Inasmuch as you are refering to a person with dementia/alzheimer's I would somewhat agree that it is normal-As there are many changes that will take place in their behavior, and I would suggest you prepare yourself of these posibilities, as I have personally gone thru this. For all you know, the person in need is crying out for help! It may be a good idea to be in contact with your local chapter of the Alzheimer's Association-for their input as well, or phone them at ther helpline--(800-272-3900)...Knowledge is power! Best, Hap
Some people like the attention they get by appearing to be poor, helpless little creatures (my mother).....some people ARE helpless but will argue till h*** freezes over about how capable they are (mother-in-law). I take your question to mean that you have a loved one who is "putting" on an act? Only you can tell what is really going on with them if you see them on a daily basis...watch their routine, see how they interact with things you ask them to do, see how they take care of themselves, i.e. ability to bathe, eat, etc. I take care of mil.....and I see a daily decline in the things she can do....she has dementia and is losing the ability to take care of personal hygiene, has problems dialing a phone, has a memory retention span of about 5 min. and on and on and on. My husband often says "this person is not my mother". He tells me stories of growing up and I have known her for 10 yrs and see the difference in her mental status. And as Christina says..however they were before, they get worse.
Hap: thank you again for your statement. I watched my independent (loving) mother's confusion grow and all the 'trying times' we had with brothers who thought she was just being honery (in her old age). It was nothing of the sort. A pleasant positive person slowly changed to someone who HAD to have her own way, from being a God loving person,to someone who cursed and swore. None of this was easy to watch or experience. But I learned something from it all. I learned that what we see should not be all we value that person to be. They are the sum of all parts, and on this Christmas Eve, I wish nothing more than to think happy thoughts of happier days with a mother that I will always love.
Find it in your heart to forgive for one day you too may need forgiveness. God bless us all!
Mia & Leslee--I watched my Mom go from a very sociable person-to almost a shell-For me it was very difficult to observe this, and I was not prepared-for the changes I observed- It was from the Alzheimer's Association-visits, and support meetings, I gradually came around. She was in a facility, and as she got worse-she required more and more care. Thus I realize the importance of sharing my experiences and knowledge with others. There presently is NO CURE for AD...but the next best thing we can do is to become knowledgeable of the many twist and turns that may lie ahed. And with all this said-try to have somewhat of a pleasant Christmas-as you owe it to yourself. Best, Hap
Is it a normal part of aging to feel vulnerable & completely helpless, interesting question.
I think one can feel this way at any age of our life, maybe more enhanced as we get older. Even very independent people can feel vulnerable at times.
I think fear is behind it and when it is overwhelming... we do nothing.
I remember my father, talking about all of his friends passing away or being sick, listening to him made me feel... he was thinking perhaps he would be next.
If someone lives alone, I think these feelings are more prominent, even though they may have visitors... they are alone.
I feel the social life in centers are a necessity and help with the loneliness and helpless feelings.
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
Some folks think they are clever & want to play the poor me card.
I hope this isn't the case for you, but my mother has been sucking the life out of me for 15 yrs. and plays the helpless waif on a regular basis.....beware.
Best,
Hap
Find it in your heart to forgive for one day you too may need forgiveness. God bless us all!
And with all this said-try to have somewhat of a pleasant Christmas-as you owe it to yourself.
Best,
Hap
I think one can feel this way at any age of our life, maybe more enhanced as we get older. Even very independent people can feel vulnerable at times.
I think fear is behind it and when it is overwhelming... we do nothing.
I remember my father, talking about all of his friends passing away or being sick, listening to him made me feel... he was thinking perhaps he would be next.
If someone lives alone, I think these feelings are more prominent, even though they may have visitors... they are alone.
I feel the social life in centers are a necessity and help with the loneliness and helpless feelings.