My horrible nephews put my sister into a nursing home, they live 1,000 miles away, I take care of my elderly mother who needs 24 hour supervision and attention so I cannot, sadly, care for 2 ill people, if I could I would. I had begged my nephews not to put their Mom away and instead come here and we could all take turns caring for her and my mother, I obviously would still care constantly for my mother, but on occasion I could care for my sister as well as long as they did most of the caring or whatever they could do to help her. They flat out refused. I told my useless nephew, the one who made all the major decisions that if he put his Mother ( my sister) away she would deteriorate, the narcissistic oaf said, "Not necessarily." and has she ever deteriorated, she can no longer walk, nor feed herself, nor bathe herself, nor dress herself, I call a lot and she barely says one full sentence. She cries on occasions, My heart is broken for her. And she is NOT old, she is by far the youngest resident there ( the nurses all have told me that). But I feel like she has been sent there to die. I care for my mother and it is so hard, but it is the right thing to do, I am young, healthy and able, my nephews are both even younger than me, the jackass , the one who made the decision to put her away is a lazy no job holding ass , I feel he loved that he had some power in life by making every decision about his mother, and every decision was the worst possible and most selfish ones, He and his brother inherited hundreds of thousands of dollars ( from their late Dad's Mom who btw they never did anything for, they never bought her gifts even though she sent them 500 and 1,000 on birthdays and Christmas ( can you imagine their greediness and selfishness?) It is sickening to think they have all that money when they did ZILCH to deserve other than share their Grandma's DNA that's it!. The least those two selfish swine could do is pay to get my sister physical therapy so she will walk again, get a great nutritionist to feed her the healthiest meals, rent a handicapped/wheelchair accessible van and just get her out of there once a week, ( I asked 1 of the nurses if she can leave the grounds she said yes, it would do her a world of good , but she would have to be in some kind of vehicle that a wheelchair could easily get in and out of), but nope those two unfeeling slobs do nothing, they ohhh wow visit her maybe twice a week for wow maybe an hour a visit, but they do nothing otherwise. But I cry thinking that my horrible nephews sent her there to die, obviously she is going to die there among tons of other sick people and strangers, no matter how nice that staff there is they are not her family who knew her so many years like my dirtbag nephews and shared life experiences with her. I read of Belle who wrote way back wishing her mother was dead, see for my nephews I wish the hell and sadness they put my sister through, and the added stress and sadness I have as a result they get tenfold. It is so sad to see how quickly my poor sister deteriorated simply because two selfish curs ( mutts!) have no desire to give her the freedom and love she gave them. She should had aborted them! I wonder will they care when she dies all alone in that cold nursing home?
I don't feel the nursing home is making my sister improve, now they are very kind and efficient there but I knew she would deteriorate there ( or any facility that was not her own home) and I was right. It is so dramatic how downhill she has gone and I told my nephew she would, but he and his slimy brother did not heed my warnings, they are young and healthy, if they were good souls they would had gotten together to care for her. I have sacrificed for my mother, it is not the easiest thing to care for her, but it is my moral obligation, so what my nephews can't together to care for their mother? Like I wrote one has no job, he has all the time in the world as well as hundreds of thousands of dollars, how sickening is it that these two selfish pigs put their Mom away and now seem to be rewarded with tons of money, it is so unfair. I bet in their sick perverse minds they think it is a sign they did the right thing, like the money is a reward. I truly hope they get punished in this life and the next, I know I am supposed to forgive all, but wow when family acts like this to family to me it is an unforgivable sin, worse than not forgiving them is.
thank you for your good luck words, I wish that to you too. And your Mom is not in the nursing home because she was a bother, but because it truly is the best place for someone in her condition. As far as my sister, it's the worst place, I am sure she feels abandoned and betrayed and I know she is severely depressed, it's heartbreaking, I love my sister so much, she's waaay too young o be in a nursing home. when I tell friends, neighbors and strangers her age and where she is they are shocked..
One of my sisters died trying to care for Mother. My other sister is 75 YO. We could not have cared for mother at home.
As far as taking Mother somewhere in the car, the NH would not help us load her in the car. They cannot be responsible for that. Her 50 yo grandson isn't even capable of getting her (dead weight) in a car and then, change her Depends, while out.
I celebrate those families that are able to care for their loved ones, but some loved ones are very difficult patients and need skilled care.
Good luck. I think that you have enough on your plate, without taking on your sister, too.