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By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment. You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
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My mom says the same things over and over and over and over. I also have to tell her things over and over and over. I know she can’t help it but I’m so done. Exhausted. Is there anything can do to curb this behavior?
This is a trait of the elder population. They don't realize that they're repeating the same story many times over. It takes patience, but you can have it, because at some point you will miss it. Matching socks IS a good redirection.
A good friend of mine has her dad assist her with simple tasks. His favorite is ripping up paperwork that is no longer needed. Have you tried redirecting your mom by changing the subject or involving her in activity you or doing or need done? Something that she can manage.
Children - that is where many of our parents are. They cannot help that they cannot remember. Try answering each time with a smile - it changes the tone of your voice. I know you are exhausted, I've been there too. I have written the answer to the common questions I'm asked and I write it down large enough and simply enough for them. Then if you are folding clothes, in the restroom etc. they have it. It doesn't mean they will always use it, but it is like a placebo (and works sometimes). Play a game and see how many ways you can answer the question but in a different way. I often remind myself to: Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.
Know you are not alone as you travel down this road in your life right now. I teach a ladies Bible class and we all have challenges and problems. Relate your problem to an elephant. Now...how do you eat this elephant? A bite at a time. When your elephant turns into a herd.....you still eat this elephant one bite at a time, bite by bite. I even made me a red heart and put an elephant inside the heart and it is on my refrigerator. Just a reminder...do what you can....when you can....a bite at a time. Take deep breaths and remember the good times.
Use this tool and continue to reach out for others to help you. Blessings!
I have Mom put together socks. I have my children bring over their socks too. The diversity of colors, sizes and many times the Great Grandchildren love to help. Gives me time to do other things. Sometime I take apart the whole drawer to last longer. She feels so needed.
Hi. Mom is now 8 yrs into her Alz journey. I found it very tiring her repeating her questions. I would ask her a question that would make her have to think for a moment. This worked many times. Hope this helps.
I Love 97yroldmom's answer! Not sure it'll work for me, but I'm going to try it.
There's no way to curb that behavior. It's like their brain is stuck, and they don't know it.
I've had good luck by changing the subject to something totally different. Sometimes they'll forget all about what they're stuck on once onto something different., and then sometimes they'll be back on it .. and I change the subject again.
97yroldmom is spot on .. watch out for you as caregivers often do die first. We neglect ourselves.
Hi JJ you are in a tough situation with your parents and dh. I am sorry. About the repetition. This might be easier for you than your dad but try to distance your emotional energy a bit. Think of the repetition as you would a stuck record that needs a little help moving on. Try to divert her attention to help her “let go” of the repetitive question. Mom “where are you going?” You “to the kitchen” Mom “where are you going” You “to Kalamazoo, you know Kalamazoo choo choo”. Then a nice “choo choo” or two. Then “let’s see if The Price is Right is On”. In the morning when I help my aunt with her ADLs, she’ll ask “ Who is coming?” If I said no one it would be a non starter. So I say something silly like “ The King of Siam”. “Which ball gown shall we wear?” Think of it as setting the mood. These kind of silly things work with my aunt and keep things light. They wouldn’t work with everyone. You have to experiment a bit to move her off of that repetitive loop in her brain. I really encourage you to look up Teepa Snow on YouTube. She is great with conversation tips with dementia patients. I encourage you to really watch out for you and your dad. Caregivers often die before the person they are caring for. Call your County Area Agency on Aging and see what services might be available for you and your dad. It might not be the best time right now with the virus. Come here for support. We will do our best to help you.
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
Know you are not alone as you travel down this road in your life right now. I teach a ladies Bible class and we all have challenges and problems. Relate your problem to an elephant. Now...how do you eat this elephant? A bite at a time. When your elephant turns into a herd.....you still eat this elephant one bite at a time, bite by bite. I even made me a red heart and put an elephant inside the heart and it is on my refrigerator. Just a reminder...do what you can....when you can....a bite at a time. Take deep breaths and remember the good times.
Use this tool and continue to reach out for others to help you. Blessings!
There's no way to curb that behavior. It's like their brain is stuck, and they don't know it.
I've had good luck by changing the subject to something totally different. Sometimes they'll forget all about what they're stuck on once onto something different., and then sometimes they'll be back on it .. and I change the subject again.
97yroldmom is spot on .. watch out for you as caregivers often do die first. We neglect ourselves.
you are in a tough situation with your parents and dh.
I am sorry.
About the repetition. This might be easier for you than your dad but try to distance your emotional energy a bit. Think of the repetition as you would a stuck record that needs a little help moving on.
Try to divert her attention to help her “let go” of the repetitive question.
Mom “where are you going?”
You “to the kitchen”
Mom “where are you going”
You “to Kalamazoo, you know Kalamazoo choo choo”. Then a nice “choo choo” or two. Then “let’s see if The Price is Right is On”.
In the morning when I help my aunt with her ADLs, she’ll ask “ Who is coming?” If I said no one it would be a non starter. So I say something silly like “ The King of Siam”. “Which ball gown shall we wear?” Think of it as setting the mood. These kind of silly things work with my aunt and keep things light. They wouldn’t work with everyone. You have to experiment a bit to move her off of that repetitive loop in her brain.
I really encourage you to look up Teepa Snow on YouTube. She is great with conversation tips with dementia patients.
I encourage you to really watch out for you and your dad. Caregivers often die before the person they are caring for. Call your County Area Agency on Aging and see what services might be available for you and your dad. It might not be the best time right now with the virus. Come here for support. We will do our best to help you.