My MIL says she is sick all the time she is on pain meds in blister pack. She says she has stomach ache and I am not sure if it is real or bad. I did take her to a doctor but they said there was nothing wrong. My MIL has for years said she is sick and needs to go to hospital and then is fine in a short time. She does have dementia but not sure if this is real or that she is trying to get us to visit more. We do visit 2- 3 or more times a week. She is very negative and this makes it hard to visit her. I find that I am less stressed if I talk to her less and visit less. She says she is lonely and I can see why but not sure what to do about it.
Has she been diagnosed with dementia? That is really difficult to fake consistently over long periods of time.
Who has medical POA for MIL?
As for visiting, oh my yes! Visiting negative people can be extremely stressful. Can your spouse visit her without getting as distressed?
Does your MIL participate in ALF activities? That can at least partially address the loneliness problem. Time some of your visits to been when there are activities and then attend them with her. The goal would be for her to go to them on her own eventually. But even if going with her doesn't achieve that, I'd think she wouldn't be able to be so negative to you in a group setting.
Could you and spouse each visit twice a week? That would be cutting down for you, but wouldn't be a decrease for MIL.
If spouse is less bothered by the negativity. how about only going with them once a week, and they can do the rest of the visits solo.
Or, you can just plainly cut back on the number of visits you make.