I don’t know whether all Memory Cares are like asylums, I don’t know what to live with as far as care and cleanliness of my Mom and her apartment, what’s missing every week, that she is not engaged meaningfully, etc. Doors to secure yard locked sometimes during the day for residents. Show movies all the time instead of engaging. I’m at a loss. She has been there 2 months and is getting worse.
Confabulating can be an issue for dementia patients, however. My mother swears that she doesn’t get fed. This is not true. I come in, and she’s at a meal.
Sometimes, she says that she’s not allowed out of her room. Also, not true. In almost every visit, she goes in and out of the room, asking questions of the caregivers.
Every nurisnng home should be attempting to make its residents feel at home because it IS their home. If your mom didn't live like that before, she shouldn't live like that now.
Showing movies all the time, versus engaging in conversation can happen in MC. Lack of activities can happen at an MC.
Locked doors are normal. Patients locked out of their room, is normal (especially if they have a wandering patient who likes to take things). Not being able to go outside is normal.
If you don't like what the facility is doing, start your research to look for another facility. Your Mom will adjust to the new facility, especially if she did not "bond" with the old facility.
The ones that don’t do not resemble hotels. One of the highest rated doesn’t even have showers in each room. What stood out to me on Yelp was a reviewer relieved because she didn’t have to hire or pay for individual caregivers. Which the Atrias and Brookdales are increasingly requiring despite costing twice as much.
She had all the things that your mother is missing.
SHE herself was not very cooperative for the first few months, and the staff bent over backwards to help her adjust.
I’m so sorry that this is happening to her. Do you have any alternative settings to research for her?
Who have you spoken with about the unacceptable circumstances that exist in this Memory Care ALF? What sort of care plan has been set up for your mother and why isn't it being properly carried out? Why has this situation been going on for 2 months and getting worse? Paying exorbitant monthly fees and getting very bad care & service is not something you should stand for, and you should be demanding answers and MUCH better care moving forward.
Good luck getting answers and/or moving mom out of there.