How to explain that the daughters don't want to be around sick people and they are very selfish with there time. The son does everything takes care of Medication management, oxygen, meals, manages finances, grocery shops manages care takers four hours a day and much more. The daughters are mad because she is using her money on healthcare and is not saving it for them. Its is unbelievable I have talked to people about it but that just say that the main caretaker always gets no appreciation. It is very sad that the daughters have turned out like they have you can only prey for them and hope they come to there senses.
You CANNOT make uninterested sibs help out. I've tried, through emails, phone calls, letters and finally, almost threats. If they don't care to help, they won't.
I know that when mother passes, there is almost no "estate" and I know who will be cleaning out her "stuff" and organizing the distribution of personal effects..me.
Brother has not needed to keep records of his time and caregiving efforts. One thing the sibs do agree on is that he should inherit all that mother leaves behind.
Keep meticulous records of your mother's money and what it is spent on. Turn her down if she suggests that you take some for yourself / your time, but do allow her to pay her/your expenses (gas, supplies, food). Offer to show the books to the daughters. Remind them that medical and care costs not covered by insurance will be large, and that a person does NOT HAVE AN ESTATE until after they have died. Until then, she will need to spend HER money on HERSELF and HER CARE.
Do not count on your sisters coming to their senses. Highly unlikely that a major change will take place.
So, you do it all. Bless you. But when it becomes more than you can handle (as it often does, depending on the loved ones' impairments) make the decisions about more in-home help (with mother's money, of course) or an appropriate care center.
Do you have Power of Attorney? Medical Proxy? Is there an Advance Directive about end-of-life situations. My advice would be to get all these ducks in a row now, because I don't think you can count on sisters suddenly truly helping.
Could it be that being your mother is pushing 90 years old that she needs a higher level of care for whatever medical condition she has? Even if your 4 sisters did pitch in, would it be enough to help? Probably not.
Sometimes we need to step back to see the forest for the trees and realize we are way over our heads when it come to being a caregiver. Plus not everyone is able to be a caregiver. Some would pass out at the sight of blood, so what good would that be to an elder they are caring?
Did your four sisters say to you that they are each upset that their mother is using her own money for her healthcare? Really? There has to be a back story here. Would it be possible for your sisters to join this website to see why they think this way?