I spoke several times with the speech therapist about taking him off purée food since he was only supposed to be on for a few weeks. After a few months she finally put him on mechanical food after running more tests. He hates it and lost so much weight, he doesn’t eat as much. When I bring him home made food he eats with no problem like he’s starving to death. I told the therapist he wants to be on regular food and he doesn’t want your mechanical food. The therapist gets loud and refuses to take him off. What are our rights? I asked her repeatedly and this time she just came out and treated me like a child and rudely said NO.
It's also risky to bring him treats from home that haven't been OK'd by the speech therapist.
If he were on respiratory therapy would you want him to go against the therapist's orders?
You (as POA) have a legal right to make a choice against medical advice and refuse treatment, including pureed foods; however, please read GardenArtist's post carefully and make sure you understand all the risks. My father had vascular dementia and was "living on borrowed time" according to his heart doctor when I made the decision to embrace a soft diet instead of the recommended pureed foods. I choose Dad's comfort over the risks of an earlier death when death was coming in weeks or months. I even quartered soft center chocolates for Dad. Are you prepared to see your father choke and die or develop pneumonia and die as his lungs fill with fluid and he cannot breathe?
He might hate it, but you both need to understand that not only is she doing what's best for him, that she as a medical professional understands dysphagia and the results, and that if he does eat "regular food", he runs the risk of aspiration pneumonia, or choking on his food.
In a higher level of dysphagia (pureed foods only), not only are aspiration and choking more dangerous, but cyanosis (face turns blue) can occur. That's a life threatening emergency. If you ever see it, it'll be very difficult for you to view and to remain calm.
You do have the right to refuse the proper treatment, as does your father, but you have to accept that you're ignoring proper, legitimate medical advice and putting your father at the risk of choking, aspirating, and being unable to breath.
If you've never seen how horrifying this is, prepare yourself. It's frightening. And you and your father would have to accept the blame and responsibility for this decision.
What I would suggest is that instead of blaming the speech therapist, that you (a) read up on dysphagia so you understand it, then (b) apologize to the therapist and ask her to guide you in preparing as best you can food that is appropriate for his level of compromised ability to eat.
She's probably not particularly pleasant with you b/c you don't understand the issues, and your position endangers your father's health and life.
As one speech pathologist explained to us: sure, you can eat what you want, and recognize that it may kill you. And that's not an understatement.
If the POA your father executed is for legal and financial, it's not relevant to health care decisions. You would need a medical POA or Living Will, or other document that gives you authority to make decisions on medical issues. And you would be taking responsibility for NOT ensuring that he gets proper medical care.