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Thanks to all of you who responded - I sold our farm and we moved to town year ago and then I had the open heart surgery...(one major oopsie and lived to tell the story), all cardiac rehab now completed. Life slowly getting back to the new normal whatever that is. One daughter moved back and stayed with her dad while I was gone for a month. She managed all of it very well - an angel! They still want us to move closer to them but not sure another move would be good for DH. Not able to find any home new-to-us that is suitable...many gems until we looked at bathrooms - showers not designed for the elderly. For now we will stay here and hire help as needed. If his mobility declines to where he has to use a wheelchair, becomes combative, or falls/breaks bones, scenario changes. As long as I can manage, with some help, I think it best we stay here and not move should another new-to-us condo home become available, nor move him to assisted living unless I have to. I have checked out several facilities so at least know what is available. Have talked to attorney about papers being in order - wouldn't hurt to revisit, again soon. Many of you have gone through all this - moving close to relatives and finding it was not good. Huge task, and not just the moving - have to find new doctors, etc etc. all of which would fall to me to handle.
Question where I need advice - to avoid early morning spills, I have him wearing men's Depends XL Night Defense. That works but XL is the largest available and it barely fits. He wears a boxer brief during daytime...doesn't look like a "guard" would stay put if added to those boxer briefs at night time. Anyone have experience with that style if it comes in a slightly longer leg length and add a 'guard' to that? (I selected incontinence under keywords - doesn't seem to be any way to add an additional choice.)

I have placed a guard in the pocket of boxer briefs. This was when my husband was getting skin irritation from his usual tab style briefs, and was taking them off. So, I tried several different methods of using cloth against his skin, even though it was more difficult for me and not very absorbent.

There is some washable incontinence underwear, cloth, boxer briefs, which have extra padding sewn in to absorb leaks, but those are designed for small leaks, not really suitable for full incontinence.

You could try tabbed briefs for overnight, although there is bound to be some leakage around the legs. Place a large bed pad under him. I just discovered Walgreen's Certainty brand XL 30" x 36" pads are very thin and comfortable.
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