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By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
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V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
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Your loved one may not require home care or assisted living services at this time. However, continue to monitor their condition for changes and consider occasional in-home care services for help as needed.
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If it's getting your mother not to repeat herself, then duct tape.
If it's not being driven bananas by it, then there are many more humane strategies, from redirection to courteously absenting yourself for a few minutes to go and punch a cushion or kick a tree. But eschew any idea that you might be able to make your mother realise, somehow, that she is repeating herself: this is a brain function problem, and you cannot cure it or train her out of it.
I've found the best way is to redirect the conversation after it gets to be too much. If your mother has dementia or is just getting old, getting onto her for repeating herself may make her sad or angry. Redirecting the conversation is much better at avoiding hard feelings.
I've been living with my mother over 5 years now, so there's little that she says that I haven't heard many times before. Going over the same memories and thoughts is something that comes with age, especially when our parent doesn't have an active life where they are forming more memories. Dementia, of course, makes the repetition worse. It is hard not to get irritable and sometimes we all have cross moments. We're only human. Redirecting thoughts or walking away are much better than trying to correct the behavior. They are still communicating and we wouldn't want them to become reluctant to do that.
Shelley, repeating how? Same question/story every couple of days, or the same questions/stories every 5 minutes?
My Dad retells the same thing just about every time I call him daily. He is starting to have some short term memory issues, but I think in my Dad's case he isn't seeing or doing anything new to talk about.... my Mom is almost deaf now so there isn't a lot of conversations between the two of them. I think if my parents had moved to a retirement village being around a lot of people from their own generation, Dad wouldn't be repeating worn out stories, he would have new things to tell.
Can you give us more information? Do you live with mom? Does she have dementia?
My mom repeats herself but I don't live with her. So when she asks me the same thing 4X in five minutes, I'll just say, "mom we've already talked about that" and go on to ask her about something else. It's very frustrating for both of us, I'm sure! I think my mom wants to fill space with conversation, so says what pops into her head and unfortunately she's only got a couple of things in her head to talk about, so it's the same things over and over. I'll go to the other room or leave if it gets too bad.
You could also put on headphones if you want quiet (and you live with mom) or just leave the room. Or direct the conversation in a way you want it to go. Hugs to you, as it's very hard on everyone involved.
The search function revives old threads with ease. I think it is totally okay, since old threads are still relevant. The only thing is I don't think the OP would be needing any advice anymore. None given here. :)
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
If it's getting your mother not to repeat herself, then duct tape.
If it's not being driven bananas by it, then there are many more humane strategies, from redirection to courteously absenting yourself for a few minutes to go and punch a cushion or kick a tree. But eschew any idea that you might be able to make your mother realise, somehow, that she is repeating herself: this is a brain function problem, and you cannot cure it or train her out of it.
I've been living with my mother over 5 years now, so there's little that she says that I haven't heard many times before. Going over the same memories and thoughts is something that comes with age, especially when our parent doesn't have an active life where they are forming more memories. Dementia, of course, makes the repetition worse. It is hard not to get irritable and sometimes we all have cross moments. We're only human. Redirecting thoughts or walking away are much better than trying to correct the behavior. They are still communicating and we wouldn't want them to become reluctant to do that.
My Dad retells the same thing just about every time I call him daily. He is starting to have some short term memory issues, but I think in my Dad's case he isn't seeing or doing anything new to talk about.... my Mom is almost deaf now so there isn't a lot of conversations between the two of them. I think if my parents had moved to a retirement village being around a lot of people from their own generation, Dad wouldn't be repeating worn out stories, he would have new things to tell.
My mom repeats herself but I don't live with her. So when she asks me the same thing 4X in five minutes, I'll just say, "mom we've already talked about that" and go on to ask her about something else. It's very frustrating for both of us, I'm sure! I think my mom wants to fill space with conversation, so says what pops into her head and unfortunately she's only got a couple of things in her head to talk about, so it's the same things over and over. I'll go to the other room or leave if it gets too bad.
You could also put on headphones if you want quiet (and you live with mom) or just leave the room. Or direct the conversation in a way you want it to go. Hugs to you, as it's very hard on everyone involved.
Sigh!
M88
CM does have a way with words, doesn't she! LOL