Does anyone else find themselves watching/living your LOs decline and think, "I'm going to start hoarding pills!" "I hope I get hit by a bus." "I hope someone will smother me with a pillow". I just don't want to suffer in decline. Incontinence. Others making all my decisions. I don't want my children to have to deal with 'that' me. It's so hard. I get so frustrated and angry and feel like my 'empty nest' has been stolen from my hubby and me. I do not want my own children to feel that way. It's crushing.
Que bueno tu tienes padres sanos y felices. Este es la razón tu estas contenta.
Pero, no todos tienen lo mismo situación. Es más deficil cuando los padres tienen Alzheimer's. Es un enfermedad muy grave con distrución de su personalidad.
Algunos de nosotros estamos sufriendo con madres y padres muy enfermos de la mente. Es difícil a ver lo bueno cuando todo el tiempo es lo malo. Disfruta tus padres en su mayoridad. Dios los bendiga.
How great that your parents are healthy and happy. That's the reason you're content.
But not all of us have the same situation. It's more difficult when your parents have Alzheimer's. It's a serious illness with destruction of their personality.
Some of us are suffering with mothers and fathers that are very sick in the mind. It's difficult to see the good when it's bad all the time. Enjoy your parents in their old age. God bless you all.
Hi nebbish - my parents too have/had dementia, though not Alz. My father had diabetes type and vascular dementia and died from it aged 81. My mother, aged 105 in an ALF, has vascular dementia and I am her POA, medical and financial. I hate paperwork, but it has to be done. I watch my BP and blood sugar and have, so far, managed to keep them where they should be.
I so agree about not fearing the future. I had a lot more health fears when I was younger. but, eventually, decided to let them go as I stayed pretty healthy. They were just fears. Having made it this far, one day at a time and being thankful for it, works best for me as well as making provision for what may lie ahead. Something healthwise will crop up eventually, unless I get hit by a bus.
...in this world nothing can be said to be certain, except death and taxes. Benjamin Franklin
1) how financially prepared are you for your future? Do you have in order your own life insurance, long term disability plan, ability to pay for $4,000/month assisted living (out of pocket)?
2) how much do you Trust those around you to make proper decisions for you? Would they be selfless or greedy? I know a woman who is putting herself in a Terrible situation financially, just so her children - who rarely visit - get a decent inheritance. She has 4th stage cancer.
3) do you trust your husband to do what is in your best interest? Does he do so now, even if it's to his inconvenience? The best predictor of future behavior is past behavior. And frankly, if you are beginning to realize that he hasn't been honorable so far, do not believe he will be in the future.
If, on the other hand, you are simply panicking on what is to come, make some changes NOW.
For instance, start decluttering as you see something that does not have great sentimental or purposeful use, give it away to someone who would appreciate it. Look on YouTube for KonMari method. She will teach you a lot about keeping only what brings you purpose or joy. Also, talk with your insurance agent about putting insurance policies in place now for your (possible) assisted living future. Your future self will thank you for it!
Thank God that I live in the USA where one way or another almost everyone can get nursing home care for care in old age (I speak of Medicaid as a last resort.) I am thankful for a good and productive life and many blessings and am confident that God will be by my side for the rest of my days, and if I have to have some difficult days (or weeks, months or years) I am still going to say, "God's got this" and remain grateful no matter what.
Grace + Peace,
Bob
God has got my back. He is taking care of me while I am taking care of DH.
Thank you.