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There are 6 Bed RCFE's also available as a choice.

Homes for the elderly were known as Board and Care Homes and the name still persists as a common term to describe a licensed residential care home. In the vernacular of the State, these homes are also known as RCFE’s (Residential Care Facilities for the Elderly).

Must be Certified.
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againx100 Jun 2022
I've never heard of these in my area. I heard of it from a friend in CA.
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Start by asking what Mom wants. Be aware that some people do fall between the cracks of the system. An ideal setting is not always possible.

You may benefit from hiring an Aging Life Care Coordinator in your area.

Other names are a Certified Care Manager.

Advocacy, Assessment, Crisis Intervention, Care Management, Consultation, Counseling, Education, Entitlements, Guardianship/Conservatorship, Information/Referral, Placement.

There should be no pressure. It really is okay to care for someone at home, as long as you are able and willing, and get the help that is always required because no one can sustain care for 24/7 alone.

Adding, but not accusing you, it is important to not get Caregiver Burnout, Compassion Fatigue, or be in denial.

A professional Aging Life Care Coordinator or Manager can also make an assessment of the caregiver's resources and needs.

It is good that you asked here, ahead of that time, before a crisis determines placement for your Mom.
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againx100 Jun 2022
Thanks. What my mom wants is to stay here. But it's very difficult and on bad days, I feel like I just can't take it anymore. Then, things level out and it's semi-tolerable.

Burnout and compassion fatigue are real and I'm sure I have a bit of each.

I do have some aides and am increasing it.
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Look into Assisted Living with Memory Care attached. That way, she may be able to start out in AL and segue into MC when her dementia demands she get extra care and locked exterior doors. That's your best bet. I doubt you'd be pressured into placing her by visiting a few places. In fact, there may be a waiting list for the one you like best so.....

Also, its not up to you to determine what level of care mom needs. The AL would do an assessment and make that determination for you.

Good luck!
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againx100 Jun 2022
Thanks Lea. In this situation, if they go from AL to MC it's still moving to a new room with new caregivers, etc.? Waiting lists are somewhat common, I guess. Good point that they'll decide what's appropriate for her. I just wanted to look in the right place. I'm trying to hold on for a bit and by the time I'm DONE, I'm pretty sure MC will be the right level.
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If you don't feel you're ready to transition her out of your home, have you tried hiring a companion/aid for her a few days a week to give you a break and just easy out of it more slowly? This may provide enough of a "bridge" before you feel more comfortable and ready for a bigger change. I wish you much widsom and peace in your heart on this journey.
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againx100 Jun 2022
I have a lady coming here 4 days a week for 4 hours. Often I am out babysitting for by grandkids and other times I'm around the house doing my own thing without interruption.

Just this past weekend I had someone come in on the weekend so hubby and I could go out to a birthday party and a wake. It was nice not to have to worry about what she was up to and if she were having a good day or a bad day cognitively.

Oh boy, I could definitely need much more wisdom!
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