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If you're questioning it, I'd say now is the time. Don't wear yourself down to the point that your own physical and mental health are compromised. Your husband isn't going to get better and his needs will only increase. I agree that the sooner you get him settled into a facility with 3 shifts of people to care for him the better. Then you can go back to being his wife and visit him. Let the others deal with showering him and making sure he's comfortable with his medications so he's not anxious with hallucinations or delusions. I give you a big virtual hug - you've done so much already for your husband. It takes a really loving spouse to do as much as you've done.
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Barb,
It's time when you say it's time. I understand your anguish and send blessings,
Jamie
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Barb, I would say that only you know if you can continue to care for your husband. Caring for a person with demensia is challenging and it only continues to get worse. I take care of my mom 24/7. I get out about twice a week for about 4 hours to go to work meetings. The rest of the time I am with her and working from home. Thanks goodness my children bring my grandchildren here. They are my relief, even though I am still with Mom.

Have you thought about sending him to day care more often? Or getting some help in the home? Maybe a professional to help with showering? Are finances something you need to consider?

I have heard others on the chatrooms say that if you are going to move a LO then earlier is easier on them. I don't know as we have decided mom will stay with us to the end. If you do decide to move him, you should feel good about your decision... You are making sure he is cared for.
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