My friend is in hospice care. We don't know how long it's been so as I had about 2+ months without seeing her as I had a health problem to deal with. When I was finally able to see her I was told she was now on hospice care. No other details. Her youngest child whom I have contact with lives a distance away and did not have the means to travel here. I contacted her and let her know how her mother was doing. She had not been contacted by her sibling which is her parents guardian. The sibling has refused to inform my friend's daughter of when the hospice care started or any information about their mother's medical condition. At the time of the court guardianship hearing the court said that the sibling was to not lock this daughter from the medical information, the big however is although said by the judge it was not written as part of the agreement. The daughter is requesting an emergency hearing to have it stated that she will have access to the medical treatment concerning their mother. Meantime and the point of the question is our concept of hospice care is that care is given to the patient that will assist the patient to be in comfort as much as possible. My friend found that the nursing staff is NOT feeding her mother. Her daughter tried to see if she could be fed by hand and she did eat, so it was not a problem with inability to swallow, etc. There is an DNR her daughter was told. Yet a DNR is another thing that we do not believe is aligned with not being fed. So I am asking if presenting a plate of food to a patient whom it is known is unable to feed themselves par for the course? This care home is quite expensive and in a residential setting and seems to be attentive otherwise, yet this seems like some sort of neglect. I think that an infant can not feed themselves so we feed them - that the inability to initiate or complete an action on one's own does not mean the need of the action will be ignored by others. If my friend fell on the floor or was coughing up blood it would not be ignored, help would be provided within the hospice status. I would like input from those who have been part of the hospice experience. What is the norm? Thank You
Hospice can treat illness that are not part of whatever disease is causing a patient's death. Their role is to make the transition easier and more comfortable.
I think sometimes people feel bad because they can't stop what is naturally happening and they feel they have not done enough for their loved one.
Also one of the problems with feeding a dying patient is aspirating the food into the lungs which just makes things worse.
Generally food is the last thing on a dying person's mind, they may remember how good that ice cream sundae used to taste, but really have no desire to eat more than a mouthful. It is hard for friends and family because loving and nurturing are often tied up with eating, our holidays are built around special meals, when our loved ones are sick we prepare special diets to help them "keep up their strength". To stop feeding someone feels like murder, and in a health individual it would be. But at the end of life to force food does more harm. The dying aren't hungry, they aren't starving, they are succumbing to their disease.