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My wife is in late-stage Alzheimers, totally incontinent, and unable to speak sensibly. Ideally, I would like someone who would do the things for her I am doing now. Daily personal care, daily soiled laundry, feeding (she is a reluctant eater), and light housekeeping in the rooms she occupies. Am I expecting too much?

What you are talking about is a Home Health Aide. Her duties are pretty much what u listed. The person is there for your wife. If she gets her lunch, she cleans up. Cleans up the bathroom after giving her a shower or helps hervwith toileting. She should do all your wife's laundry even soiled items. Also, light housekeeping in the rooms wife uses. She is not required to do anything for you. If you get this help, use that time for you.
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Reply to JoAnn29
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I agree that depending on how many hours you need from an aid, and if you're hiring privately, you should have more than 1 person, in case the other cannot make it due to illness or time off.
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Reply to Geaton777
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You’re not expecting too much but you may need to hire two caregivers to rotate time in this role. It’s a lot to care for someone in your wife’s situation and may take more than one person to accomplish, especially considering time away for the workers
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Reply to Daughterof1930
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You may have to prioritize what you want to be accomplished.
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Reply to againx100
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Maybe you can have the aid shadow you for a day before hiring to make sure they totally understand their duties and to see if they're a good fit. Make sure you try to hold out for someone who has experience with ALZ patients. Sometimes people call themselves aids or caregivers because they imagine it's like a slightly higher level of babysitting.

If your wife is a fall risk, you need someone who knows how to assist someone who is unsteady. You need someone who knows how to be patient and creatively get your wife to do beneficial things. Also be clear about "phone breaks" so they aren't looking at their phones every 5 minutes.

Make sure you have a written contract. Is this person going to be privately hired? Or through an agency?
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Reply to Geaton777
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