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Robert...thank you for making such great suggestions. At first I try to be 'objective' but in reality I feel as strongly as you do about any driving confused.
Of course not all old people need to have their licenses taken away, but of course ALL of us should be evaluated on a regular basis to know that we can react properly to the demands of traffic.
Thanks again for your comments.. this exchange helps all of us!
MiaMadre's list of indicators is great and helps to make a review more objective. However, I think you already know that your dad shouldn't be driving. A very important component of "taking away" the keys is actually to find alternatives to maintaining his mobility.
For example, if you know he's going to the grocery store every few days, then why not send a nephew to pick him up and go along, nobody needs to mention that granddad is NOT driving this time.
Or if he has a regular senior center function, can the shuttle be sent over to pick him up? Tell him it saves on gas and is more convenient. Nobody needs to directly say granddad is NOT the shuttle driver.
Ask if he has any upcoming doctor appointment and mention you'd like to go along, as it gives you a chance to go to the pharmacy for some of your meds. Nobody needs to focus on the fact that you're driving and not him.
And at a comfortable time for all, make sure to talk to him and to take away the keys; or maybe just say "We'll help watch the car for you at our house."
Change requires alternatives, otherwise resistance is guaranteed.
I do not know what "slightly confused' means, but if he has been diagnosed with Alzheimer's or any form of dementia his driving skills should be evaluated on a regular basis. Have you noticed any changes in his driving skills? The Alzheimer's association has several articles on 'when to take the keys". Here are a few things that might help you decide. HOW to take the keys is another issue.
• Hitting curbs (while parking or driving) • Making slow or poor decisions. • Confusing the brake and gas pedals. • Problems with changing lanes or making turns. • Becoming angry, frustrated and/or confused while driving. • Getting lost in familiar areas.
If you notice ANY of these signs while driving with your father, have him evaluated by the Department of Motor Vehicle, even if you have to have them send him a request to be tested. Many states offer this service to help families with this very sensitive subject.
The link above provides printable material to help you make this decision. This article also offers suggestions on how to LIMIT driving by someone you believe to be empaired.
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
Of course not all old people need to have their licenses taken away, but of course ALL of us should be evaluated on a regular basis to know that we can react properly to the demands of traffic.
Thanks again for your comments.. this exchange helps all of us!
For example, if you know he's going to the grocery store every few days, then why not send a nephew to pick him up and go along, nobody needs to mention that granddad is NOT driving this time.
Or if he has a regular senior center function, can the shuttle be sent over to pick him up? Tell him it saves on gas and is more convenient. Nobody needs to directly say granddad is NOT the shuttle driver.
Ask if he has any upcoming doctor appointment and mention you'd like to go along, as it gives you a chance to go to the pharmacy for some of your meds. Nobody needs to focus on the fact that you're driving and not him.
And at a comfortable time for all, make sure to talk to him and to take away the keys; or maybe just say "We'll help watch the car for you at our house."
Change requires alternatives, otherwise resistance is guaranteed.
• Hitting curbs (while parking or driving)
• Making slow or poor decisions.
• Confusing the brake and gas pedals.
• Problems with changing lanes or making turns.
• Becoming angry, frustrated and/or confused while driving.
• Getting lost in familiar areas.
If you notice ANY of these signs while driving with your father, have him evaluated by the Department of Motor Vehicle, even if you have to have them send him a request to be tested. Many states offer this service to help families with this very sensitive subject.
http://www.alz.org/national/documents/topicsheet_driving.pdf
The link above provides printable material to help you make this decision. This article also offers suggestions on how to LIMIT driving by someone you believe to be empaired.