My two other caregivers are blessings from heaven thru an agency. I need one more to fill in m/t/w shift 9-5. I usually do a walk thru a couple times throughout the day to see if mom is ok. See how the two interact.
The first cg told me I need to leave the house while she is caregiving. There I stood w/crutches on mom's front door mat. Muttering "where can I hobble to" we have no car. After one hr I came back in pain out of breath saying "I am never doing that again this is my house too."
Now this new woman who hasnt started yet told me she expects me to stay in my room all day. If she has questions she will text me. I am 65 staying in mom's doll room. She told me it works out better this way for them to get to know each other. I asked her to start at 9 on Monday. She said no Tuesday at 8:30 she will start to get to know the lay of the land. She will take Mondays off for doc appts. She has her own fill-in. I told her I don't want people I don't know over here. The first cg was thru an agency this one is private. Why are they bossing me around? My goal is to return to my own home (3 miles away) mom had a collapsed lung twice and tumbles. She lived alone before I came on board. Is it good she is telling me before she starts Mondays are appt days? Can't she share appt day with her other client? She said no. I asked her to send me CDL copy the day I was interviewing her our handyman was yacking my bad I forgot. She said No she would bring passport & id for me to copy. Are these red flags? She also commented about a wall print hanging in my dad's office that is worth alot of $ said she would talk to me about it when my mom passes (dad passed years ago). I had couple doors closed I felt weren't her business yet. While dementia mom is saying open all the doors.
Inappropriate I also had a woman inform me the family portraits hanging on the wall she could tell I was spoiled as a child, I replied "the photographer said smile I was only 7 yrs old. No I was not spoiled I was happy smiling for the camera with mom & dad. I am an only child. Next she asked when the house is sold where does the $ go? Sorry got off subject.
Should I tell this new woman I have changed my mind? Mom's friend recommended her but now after I shared she apologized saying she will not recommend her to any of her friends. Thing is mom thinks she doesn't need a cg (caregiver). We go round and round.
Last June I was in a horrible truck wreck, I was in the hospital. Oct and March mom has been in & out of hospital. My healing is taken longer due to all mom stress and hiring caregivers. I have thur-sat (9-5). Mon-fri 5 pm-9pm. I am here 24/7 taking care of mom & trying to save her money. I am on disability for a different reason.
Thank you for me. All of the posts and replys I have read are a universal/God given life support. I read how lucky I am it could be worse cept the times mom comes after me with her walker slamming down on to my never gonna heal foot. I still wake up every morning with a smile whereas mom wakes up saying "oh s*** u are still here"
None of my mom’s caregivers would have ever acted this way. Find a replacement. Point to the door. Say two words, “Please leave!”
"Spoiled as a child" is slang for "well loved by parents" so I wouldn't take that too personally. Other stuff is big red flags.
Aides talking about her personal effects would bother me too with no one checking up on Mom. And telling me I had to leave the house! I don't think so. I would say that will not happen until you are sure all is working out. No one tells me I will spend my time in my bedroom. I wouldn't hover but would check in. What the gall of some people.
Reading part of your initial post for the second time, the last lines caught my attention. Your mother seems to be withholding support for you; perhaps that encourages the Dominatrix. That's something to consider. Your mother may be encouraging her to get back at you.
I would discourage anyone from adding a caregiver to any insurance policy, it is up to them to be insured to do their job.
A Class C license is a basic license and the class most private citizens have. Despite this, it affords many driving privileges. A Class C license allows the holder to drive two-axel vehicle under 26,000, a vehicle towing a trailer or semitrailer, a housecar and three-axel vehicles less than 6,000 pounds.
There are other Classes of driver's licenses.
Amazed that this question has started out with so much confusion.
What is the real question you need answered here?
Who says you "must" leave when caregiver is there?
I would not be comfortable leaving someone alone there. Make sure she is bonded and has an insurance policy. I do not know how many times, I have caught the worker with sticky fingers but Medicaid is involved so nothing happens.
As for the CDL thing, maybe you just mean a DL. Anyhow, on the I9, a passport is called a type A document and if she provides you with that, she does not need to provide you with a license or any other document.
I am betting that they do not need that level of certification and they probably don't need any endorsements, because these are typically based on weight of load and number of passengers.
Well worth checking it out so you are not asking for something that is not applicable to the situation.
I'm thinking the bossy woman has some problems of her own, and isn't welcome in most homes. Why an agency hasn't spoken to her or let her go is a serious question which should be answered.
By the time I got halfway through your post, my thought was to terminate this situation now, unless you have a come to reality, sit down discussion and advise her that her behavior and attitudes are inappropriate.
If you're uncomfortable confronting her, itemize the issues in play and give her a printed assessment of your concerns. Ask her to review it and if she can't comply, she doesn't need to bother returning.
You should put the job description in writing and give a copy to future employees.
Listen to your gut, if something doesn't feel right, it probably isn't.
Before you bring anyone in and you leave, I highly recommend getting any valuables out of there. To many caregivers and no way to prove which one walked off with items.
I would tell miss bossy that you will not be hiring her because she lacks boundaries and respect and leave it at that. Don't argue or engage, her services will not be required. Period
As to being a red flag about some abuse or something I doubt that very much. But I will give you an idea. This is YOUR HOME. You can have installed security cameras connected to your laptop any time you wish to do so. That would reassure you that Mom is getting good care. And if THAT is the case, I am going to encourage you to do just as they say. Make a nice cup of tea, sit and watch the TV, read, Scrapbook, do a puzzle, and get Mom off your mind for a little bit of time.
Found this well written and interesting. Almost like a novel. So maybe sit and write the great American geriatric mystery in the spare time these caregivers are giving you.