My grandpa, 84 yo, recently lost his wife of 61 years to an aggressive brain tumor in March 2015. We had some time, 3 months, before her passing to help assist grandpa with getting up to speed with household management as grandma handled everything household related.
Within a month after her passing, grandpa met a woman at the senior center and after one visit, she quickly became a regular household visitor. Grandpa would take her to expensive restaurants several times a week which was very uncharacteristic of his financial expenditures. It was within a week of their meeting that he was confronted and warned by someone at the senior center of her money scheming intentions. But grandpa, deathly afraid of being all alone, refused to take heed. Needless to say, the family is not happy at all.
Fast forward 5 months, she is at his residence every day. She has requested he buy her glasses, take her on vacations, buy her a new car, take her gaming (and give her money to gamble because "she is luckier at the casino when she gambles with other's money") and she recently asked him to add her to his checking accounts. We've done a little research on her background and found she has a gambling addiction, previous troubles with unpaid taxes, SEC8 housing, and a bad reputation for being a swindler. She has convinced grandpa that his family is awful and only wants his money. He has met with a lawyer and revoked his children's financial access. From what we can tell, he's out a minimum of $40K in 5 months without any explanation of where the money has gone.
Lawfully, there is nothing the family can do about this as he is willing giving money to her. While we, the extended family, can clearly see her true intentions, Grandpa desperately doesn't want to be alone so gives in to all of her requests. He has stopped taking his medications and refuses to see a doctor. Soon, we imagine, he'll stop taking our phone calls as well as she has convinced him that his family is no good.
While he is quickly loosing his entire life savings, we feel like we are losing the patriarch of our family.
Is there anything we can do?
If he's still considered competent, he can do what he wants with his funds, but he needs to sign a legal - looking paper for you, the family, that he understands that gifting money now will result in in eligibility for Medicaid later, and that you, the family, will not be providing housing or care for him when he needs it.
I would play hardball with Both of them.
One concept inspired me. What the critters, ants, pests don't like is what you use against them.
You will have to think about it.
Does the woman drive? Has she ever had a flat tire while driving gpa?
She is bold, rude. You be bolder, much more rude.
Instead, get a background check, spend the money and stop wondering about.
What would you do if a criminal moved into your house? Make her life miserable.
Sorry.
So what does she does with all the money? Maybe HUD, or even the IRS, would be interested in knowing that she has enough money to pay for market rentals. Maybe some anonymous letters to appropriate federal departments, such as fraud departments, might get some federal interest going?
If not, this may or may not work, but it might be worth a try. Visit the bank at which he has checking accounts, with any documentation or police reports you might have, and explain the situation. Bankers can check the endorsements on any checks GF's given her, and advise of the name(s) of her banks, aliases if she endorses them that way, and account numbers.
It's a long shot though unless you know the bankers and they know you, or unless someone in the family has power under a DPOA. However, you can also (a) write a letter to the bank's fraud division and explain the situation. They might not do anything, but they might flag your GF's account for moitoring. (b) Ask a PI to do this (someone might be able to find a way), who could also contact her banks and advise them that she's scamming and using their bank to shield the ill begotten funds.
I'm wondering also if there are any far reaching provisions of the Patriot Act that could be invoked by law enforcement to take a peek at her assets.
I think I would be pretty firm with the Senior Center about banning her ( perhaps after you get her out of GF's life as until then a PI might use her presence there as a lead to see what else she's up to when she goes elsewhere). Senior Centers are funded, and if their funding is scrutinized b/c of allowing someone with a known bad reputation, it could affect their mission to serve elders in the community.
Do some research to see if there are any corporate or public donors, contact them and let them know of your concerns. I'm guessing they would be pretty quick to act in directing the senior center to address this woman's use of the facilities to find victims.
Maybe even someone on the township board or city council would be concerned that this woman has used the senior center. They would have had either actual or at least constructive knowledge of a potential scam taking place through their facilities.
It also occurred to me that the senior center should be confronted because that's where she "works" on people like your grandfather. I would not hesitate to confront the director of the senior center, tell the director what's been happening between your grandpa and this woman, and see what the director knows about her like whether or not she's new in town or has a history with men there. I would also not hesitate to ask the director to help you work with local authorities. Senior centers are supposed to be where seniors can socialize safely. The last thing a senior center director wants is bad publicity.
She is aware that we've been researching her and it doesn't scare her away as we had hoped. She won't easily back off because she knows he's an easy target. He's entirely co-dependent and severely vulnerable. She has 5x more exposure and accessibility to him than we do collectively as a family because everyone works FT. When we arrange outings for him, she sabotages it by cancelling his plans, changing plans or joining him. When we schedule volunteer opportunity or make lunch plans with him, she has something urgent he needs to tend to.
My mother made a comment that she feels she is mourning the loss of another parent this year. Sadly, it's true. I believe we'll consult a lawyer to see how to proceed. I've strongly recommended a PI involvement. We really need more solid information on our suspicions of this woman.
With aliases, I'm wondering if you couldn't get help from law enforcement. It's not normal for people (other than actors, actresses, etc.) to need a number of aliases. I'm guessing there may be some criminal activity involved under the other aliases.
I agree it's time for a PI. In fact, if the PI wasn't necessarily discreet but managed to make it clear he/she was surveiling this woman, it might discourage her.
I hate to see someone be deemed incompetent and placed under jurisdiction of a court, but that might be a step that's necessary to keep this schemer away. It's still hard for me to believe that she doesn't have a criminal record.
We have also conducts extensive DIY internet research on her. We did find out she has alias names. It may be time to hire a professional PI.
We've arranged activities for Grandpa which would get him out of the house and away from this woman. But in the end, she manages to come along and 'be his companion'. We find it all very manipulative as she is closely guarding her position. He and [late] Grandma has set up joint checking with certain family members but recently revoked access to all so that we do not have visibility into his finances. He's also placed a lock on his office door so no one can access his computer or files. It's become evident in recent encounters that she has turned him against us as a family. She said his family is the worst she has ever seen.
We've contacted a local agency hotline for vulnerable adults and reported her actions but since this doesn't appear to have obvious criminal characteristics, it's nothing law enforcement can do other than regular welfare checks.
The health concerns are very troubling! We also have an inclination of possible onset of dementia due to wild hallucinations he's had recently. At his last check up, he failed to mention this to the doctor and walked away with a clean bill of health (and reminder to take his meds). We rescheduled another appointment to have a family member present and he now refuses to go.
It's hard because Grandma, in her dying days, was really worried about not being there to care for him. This is something we are doing because he's family and we are continuing to pursuit because of her wish. However, we feel powerless in helping. The relationship and environment has become nothing short of hostile.
However, you could contact APS and ask them to investigate. It might scare the woman enough to back off; but it might also alienate you from your grandfather.
And there might be a legitimate medical issue since he's no longer taking meds and won't see a doctor. That might be part of her plan, to accelerate the deterioration in his health.
What I would do though is take the research you've done (which I also would have done myself), see perhaps a local law enforcement officer to see if he/she can pull a more detailed credit report, and then if necessary see an elder law or even a criminal attorney to determine if there are any other options to pursue.
I would also run her name as well as any aliases if you're aware of some through the local district and county court clerk lists of cases to see if anyone has filed a civil suit or if she's been charged in a criminal action.
If she's in Sec. 8 housing, I'm assuming the landlord would be paying the taxes as she would be a renter. You could research to find out who that is and ask if she's current with her rent. I don't think it would hurt to let her know you're wise to her manipulations.
I don't think you could get any information on whether her income taxes are current.
This woman moves fast - $40K in 5 months is a pretty swift pace. You might want to ask law enforcement officers if there's a special task force or squad that deals with predators of seniors. Maybe the state police or attorney general could help along that line as well, or even the FBI (I'm remembering the movie "Black Widow").
Are you aware of any men she's scammed who have died fairly quickly after she's become involved? On the other hand, if she picks older men, there are always health issues that could be considered a dominant factor anyway.
Retirement Living TV (RLTV) has aired programs on senior scamming. You might check their website and search programs to see if any information can be gained from their presentations.
The other option would be more drastic and that's to file for guardianship. If he doesn't have dementia, he certainly is displaying a lack of prudent financial management. If you do get guardianship, you can ask the local court to issue a PPO against her.
Or, you could hire a private investigator, who could discreetly make his presence known so that she's aware she's under scrutiny. It might scare her off.
Good luck; please let us know what you learn. This kind of situation is always troubling and frightening.