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That is what I have been told by my Uncle. He has told me (and my sister) that we just need to learn to listen to her, calm down, and relax. Sure...easy for you to say...you live 3,000+ miles away and come for a week to visit. We were hoping that they would see what we endure taking care of her.

I know what I can learn...that I don't want to be a burden on my children and that if I am needing 24/7 care and cannot afford a nursing home, give me an overdose of medication and let me go!!

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He's right. You learn to treat your own kids with respect, to support, comfort and let them know you're proud of them. You learn to give them love and space to live their own lives. You learn to accept change, adapt and adjust to it. And you learn to try to do it with as much grace and gratitude as you can.

And you learn this by seeing what NOT to do.
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Savinggranny, don't you love it when people say "calm down, just relax". Those are fighting words in my book because one cannot relax when dealing with elderly parents :P

Yes, I think we are all learning what NOT to do, and are trying to plan ahead for our own old age. We also must need to keep our own grown children [if we have any] also in the loop so they can learn from their grandparent on what NOT to do.... and start saving for their own old age NOW.
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When my uncle was visiting my sister last year, the gave her a lecture on what a hard life my mother has had and how the family needs to step up now and take care of her in her old age. I told her she should have asked him "Does "the family" include you?"
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